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Column: The one where we rank the 'Friends' Thanksgiving episodes

Mary McNamara, Los Angeles Times on

Published in Entertainment News

Thanksgiving really needs a better marketing team. Sure, it gets coverage — all those stories on how to brine/deep fry/spatchcock a turkey, all that advice on how to survive your family (preferably without the spatchcocking) — but where’s the cultural fanfare? The soundtrack, the decorations, the “very special episodes”? Filmmakers are oddly disinterested — name five Thanksgiving-themed films (and “American Gangster” doesn’t count). Hallmark Channel celebrates with Christmas movies, and even most long-running television series take a sporadic approach.

Which is yet another reason to love “Friends.” From its first season to its last, “Friends” has celebrated Thanksgiving with the hijinks, hilarity and occasional pathos it deserves. Available to stream and download on HBO Max, each of the 10 episodes clocks in at less than 25 minutes, perfect for an air-travel or Thanksgiving-eve chronological binge. But if your time and/or attention is limited, here is a highly subjective ranking:

10. “The One With the List” (Season 2, Episode 8)

Rachel (Jennifer Aniston) tells Monica (Courteney Cox) and Phoebe (Lisa Kudrow) that she and Ross (David Schwimmer) kissed, while Ross, Joey (Matt LeBlanc) and Chandler (Matthew Perry) debate whether it means Ross should break up with his girlfriend. With their help, he makes a quite unflattering list of Rachel’s pros and cons, which, of course, Rachel discovers. Meanwhile, Monica takes a job (from a wonderful Michael McKean) making Thanksgiving-themed recipes with a chocolate substitute called Mockolate.

Those recipes are about the only Thanksgivingy thing about the episode, which mostly revolves around Ross being a mopey passive-aggressive jerk who has somehow become the object of two women’s affection. Rachel whines a bit in the beginning but at least holds the line (momentarily) when she sees the list, which, despite the very funny Mockolate storyline, makes this a surprisingly sour episode. (Chandler’s clunky early iteration of a laptop, along with the enormous printer and mobile phone with an antenna gives it an amusing period-piece air.)

9. “The One Where Chandler Doesn’t Like Dogs” (Season 7, Episode 8)

Chandler challenges the group to play a “name the 50 states” game. No one can and Ross, predictably, won’t let his failure go. Rachel invites her young, and newly single, assistant, Tag (Eddie Cahill), to the dinner and the revelation that Phoebe has been secretly caring for a friend’s dog forces Chandler to admit that he is not allergic to dogs; he just hates them.

There are several good laughs in the episode, including Joey’s explanation of why the phrase “moot point” is actually “moo point” (“It’s like a cow’s opinion; it doesn’t matter”), but Rachel making a move on her assistant is icky, the joke of Ross’ (baffling) inability to name the states over the course of a day wears thin and there is simply no universe in which Chandler hates dogs. With dinner being made, and consumed, pretty much off-camera, the episode feels a bit forced and lacks the festive spirit. (Bonus points, however, for Rachel’s hair — a classic bob — and Chandler’s specs.)

8. “The One Where Underdog Gets Away” (Season 1, Episode 9)

Rachel tries to get enough money to fly to Vail, Colo., to meet her family, Monica agrees to make Thanksgiving dinner (which Chandler will only join if he can eat grilled cheese and Funyons because he hates Thanksgiving), Ross demands “belly time” with his pregnant ex-wife and Joey lands a job as a PSA model for the City Free Clinic only to discover he is featured in a venereal disease spot. When the Underdog balloon gets loose during the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade, the group rushes to the roof to watch only to realize they are locked out of the apartment.

This is the canon Thanksgiving episode which means everyone is super young, Rachel is still the spoiled rich girl and several jokes, including one about Joey wearing makeup, are quite dated (younger viewers may also not know who Underdog is). The turkey burns in record time, but everyone who has ever lived in an apartment can commiserate with being locked out of it and the sweetness of the makeshift meal is a harbinger of both the “Friendsgiving” trend and the “Friends”-giving tradition.

7. “The One With the Late Thanksgiving” (Season 10, Episode 8)

Monica (finally) tries to get out of making the dinner, citing pressure of the adoption process. Her friends won’t hear of it, of course. They guilt-trip her into the chore and then proceed to engage in activities guaranteed to make them late. Rachel and Phoebe enter Emma in a baby beauty pageant while Ross and Joey go to a hockey game.

Hilarity ensues when they try to talk their way into the feast, but even so, it does feel like an actual “when are you going to grow up?” showdown is brewing when Monica receives a fateful phone call.

As someone who trends very Monica when it comes to holiday hosting (and late arrivals), I deeply appreciated this episode (especially when, after she tells Chandler to wash the cranberries, she has to add “not with soap”). Even without the “saved by the bell” phone call, it is a fitting final Thanksgiving episode. The time has come for new traditions, which may not always involve the six of them coming together. And if they do, well, maybe someone else could do the cooking for once.

6. “The One With the Football” (Season 3, Episode 9)

As dinner cooks, the friends decide to play football. Monica and Ross reveal that their mother banned them from the activity after their intense childhood competitiveness resulted in the Geller Cup being thrown into a lake. That intensity is, not surprisingly, alive and well and this rare “outside” episode is a fun romp through sibling rivalry and the other characters’ views of teamwork and competition. Which includes Chandler and Joey vying for the attention of a random Dutch woman.

Anyone who has a sibling or who has ever been involved in a “friendly” adult game of anything — ”Are we not having dinner at all?” Phoebe wonders — will appreciate this episode. Also the homemade Geller Cup, which includes a Troll doll, is a marvelous thing.

 

5. “The One With Chandler in a Box” (Season 4, Episode 8)

Joey is angry that Chandler has kissed his girlfriend and will only forgive him if Chandler spends Thanksgiving in a box. Phoebe’s request that the group adopt a Secret Santa system reveals, among other things, that Rachel returns any gift she receives, which hurts Ross’ feelings. Monica gets ice in her eye and, in seeking treatment (amazingly available on Thanksgiving Day!), meets, and is attracted to, the son of her eye doctor/former boyfriend Richard. Obviously, she invites the young doc, played by Michael Vartan, over for dinner.

Monica in an eye patch and Chandler in a box! What more does any holiday need? (Also, does Secret Santa ever really end well?)

4. “The One With Rachel’s Other Sister” (Season 9, Episode 8)

Rachel’s older sister Amy (Christina Applegate) shows up unannounced and proceeds to derail Thanksgiving when she learns that she will not get baby Emma (whose name she cannot remember) in the event of Rachel and Ross’ death. Discussions of potential guardianship lead to Chandler doubting his ability to be a father. Meanwhile, in one of the best Thanksgiving subplots and TV twists of all time, Joey realizes he was supposed to be part of the “Days of Our Lives” parade float and struggles, with Phoebe’s help, to come up with an excuse.

Applegate won an Emmy for her guest role and it was richly deserved; her snarky performance reminds us of how far Rachel has come (and also why we haven’t met Amy before now). But Chandler’s proof, and realization, that he will make a great father feels bittersweet, given Perry’s death two years ago, as does his line “I guess I’ll be the one who dies first.” Take no holiday gathering for granted, my friends.

3. “The One Where Ross Got High” (Season 6, Episode 9)

Monica hasn’t told her parents that she’s living with Chandler for the simple reason that “they don’t like you.” Chandler goes on a charm offensive only to learn that the dislike is based on Ross having blamed him years ago for the pot the Gellers smelled in Ross’ room. Rachel attempts to help with the cooking, creating a trifle that includes custard, jam, beef and peas. (“The beef? Yeah, that was weird to me too,” she says. “But then I thought there’s mincemeat pie — I mean, that’s an English dessert. These people just put very strange things in their food.”) The Gellers (played by Elliott Gould and Christina Pickles) join the festivities, and Phoebe reveals she has a brief dream-inspired crush on Mr. Geller. Joey and Ross are trying to rush through dinner to attend a party held by their “hot” roommate, which involves shoveling down Rachel’s trifle.

Rachel’s trifle is “Friends” legend in large part because Joey actually likes it. “What’s not to like? Custard, good. Jam, good. Meat, goood.” The sibling dynamic between Ross and Monica (always enjoyable) brings a realistic feel to Thanksgiving, as does the Gellers’ patient bafflement with the whole proceeding. This is the episode that most feels like home.

2. “The One With the Rumor” (Season 8, Episode 9)

Monica invites Will (Brad Pitt), an old high school friend, to dinner while threatening not to make a turkey because no one but Joey wants it. Joey vows to eat it all. Will, who has lost a lot of weight since high school, turns out to have a long-harbored hatred of Rachel; he co-founded (with Ross) the “I Hate Rachel Green” club, which spread a rumor about Rachel being intersex. Chandler and Phoebe pretend to watch football in order to avoid helping out.

Filmed when Pitt and Aniston were still married, the episode’s thread of adolescent animosity (”Typical of you, Rachel Green,” Will says. “Queen Rachel does whatever she wants in her little Rachel land”) plays a bit differently now, but Pitt is terrific, as is Kudrow. Phoebe reacts to Will with hilarious appreciation — ”Come on, Will, just take off your shirt and tell us.” But honestly, Joey steals the show with his one-man turkey eating contest. “You don’t have to finish that,” Monica says. “Oh, yes, I do. Otherwise what’s next? Today I’m just a guy who can’t finish a turkey, but tomorrow I’m the guy who eats half a power bar, wraps up the rest and puts it in the fridge? No!”

1.”The One With the Thanksgiving Flashbacks” (Season 5, Episode 8)

Full from dinner, the friends each describe a thing they are thankful for. Ross and Chandler begin a competition over who had the worst Thanksgiving. We get to see the holiday on which Chandler’s father left the family for his houseboy; Phoebe’s past-life holidays; the year Joey got a turkey stuck on his head; and, more significantly, the time young Monica met young Chandler who proceeded to call her fat. This leads to a subsequent year in which Chandler shows appreciation for a newly thin Monica, who proceeds to punish him for the previous remark. Contemporary Chandler gets mad, Monica puts a turkey on her head to woo him back and Chandler says he loves her for the first time.

I am not a fan of the “fat Monica” jokes that permeate the series, or the occasional flashbacks showing her in a fat suit, but in this case, they offer both humor and pathos (not to mention some very stellar fashions for young Chandler and Ross). Also it is tough to imagine any comedy, save for Mr. Bean, beating the old turkey-on-the-head as a Thanksgiving gag, which may explain why so few series even try.

Watched in chronological order, this ranking, or a ranking of your own, prove that it’s still a “Friends”-giving world.


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