AMNESIA:

Condition that enables a woman who has gone through labor to make love again.

DUMBWAITER:

One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.

FAMILY PLANNING:

The art of spacing your children the proper distance apart to keep you on the edge of financial disaster.

FEEDBACK:

The inevitable result when your baby doesn't appreciate the strained carrots.

FULL NAME:

What you call your child when you're mad at him.

GRANDPARENTS:

The people who think your children are wonderful even though they're sure you're not raising them right.

HEARSAY:

What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.

IMPREGNABLE:

A woman whose memory of labor is still vivid.

INDEPENDENT:

How we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say.

POW:

The first word spoken by children with older siblings.

PUDDLE:

A small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry clothes into it.

SHOW OFF:

A child who is more talented than yours.

STERILIZE:

What you do to your first baby's pacifier by boiling it and to your last baby's pacifier by blowing on it.

TOP BUNK:

Where you should never put a child wearing Superman pajamas.

TWO MINUTE WARNING:

When the baby's face turns red and she begins to make those familiar grunting noises.

VERBAL:

Able to whine in words.

WHODUNIT:

None of the kids that live in your house..

WEEKEND:

When Dad gets to play golf while Mom catches up on the laundry, cleans the house, runs errands, etc.