ArcaMax

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am employed at a local department store where my primary position is in the dressing room. I check the number of items taken into each room, then I button, zip and hang up items to be placed back on the floor racks.

Our store's dressing room has a limit of 10 items per customer at a time. Most of the time, the customer will...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My wife and I had an amazing and intimate honeymoon in the Leeward Islands. In the spirit of the occasion, we booked first-class tickets for our flights.

During boarding for the return leg, the flight attendant asked if we would like anything to drink. We requested champagne to commemorate a perfect week spent together. The ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: As a teacher for the past 30 years, I have been fortunate to receive thoughtful gifts of thanks and appreciation from my students and their families during the holiday season and at the end of the school year. These gifts often include mugs, chocolates, baked goods or gift cards. (Between us, I will admit that my favorite ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: What's happened to mealtime conversation?

We have friends who are perfectly capable of talking about all kinds of interesting subjects, but only so long as there is no food in front of them. If we meet at restaurants or for meals at each other's houses, all they ever talk about is the food. They grill (sorry!) waitstaff at ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Self-service fountain machines at pizza parlors and delis have the different sugary sodas labeled with big buttons, while there are often smaller black "water" and "soda" buttons below.

I have always believed that the aerated water dispensed by the "soda" button is still just water, meaning I can fill up a cup for free. After...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My mother-in-law and sister-in-law wore white gowns to my wedding. Their actions were so obvious that guests commented on it, and the DJ asked for "the real bride to please stand up."

Why would they do this on my wedding day?

GENTLE READER: A mean-spirited prank gone wrong? Regardless, it does not bode well for your future ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: We visited a friend and her new partner for a weekend visit. Her partner drove us to an outing about 20 miles away and went 95 mph on the highway.

Despite fearing for our lives, we said nothing. On the way back, however, I politely asked the partner if he could please keep his speed under 80 mph.

He immediately turned ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I worked with someone who was uber passive-aggressive and made my life at work difficult. Fortunately, she retired at the end of the semester.

There was a retirement gathering for her with cake and coffee, given by her colleagues. I vowed long ago as division chair to never attend a gathering for this individual, so I skipped...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have been friends with someone for 12 years. We used to do everything together, and were even roommates for a while.

Then she met a wealthy guy at the coast. I have met him a handful of times, and he always seems nice. They are now married and live on a yacht.

My husband and I spend most of our summer vacations at the same...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Between my husband and me, who have each been married previously to other people, we have four children, 11 grandchildren and five great-grandchildren. We have been married to each other for almost 25 years. Six of the grandchildren and all of the great-grandchildren have been born during our marriage.

I am especially close ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I had a breast augmentation surgery 20 years ago, for reasons that I still think were good ones. I am not interested in having to justify my choice to anyone, and in any case, it's not something I could undo even if I wanted to.

I'm now single and dating. It has happened more than once that a man sees me undressed for the ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I would be most grateful if you could provide guidance on how to graciously handle two common problems with email.

1. The response, "I never check that account."

What do we do when our correspondence goes into a black hole? A number of people have claimed that the message I sent went to an account that they never check. But ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have always struggled to get along with my mother-in-law. We are very different in tastes and temperament. I have tried to be polite and welcoming, to encourage familial bonds and to find some way to make her happy, but nothing I have done has ever been right.

She is quite outspoken in her negative opinions, so time with ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am part of a group of six college friends from 50 years ago. We stay in touch by texting often, and getting together in person every few years. We are spread out geographically, but one friend and I are just a few miles apart and have always seen each other more often.

I was to stop by this friend's house to pick something ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have been taking time off work to help care for my father, who has incurable cancer. To clients I don't know well, I've said, "I'll be out of town to help my dad, who is sick."

They almost invariably reply, "I hope he feels better soon." I know they mean well, and I usually manage to take it that way. But that doesn't stop ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Would you consider it rude to bring an additional dish to a dinner, even if it wasn't requested?

This is for an Easter dinner, so it is a meal in which the dishes are meant to be special. When I asked what I could contribute, I was asked to bring a side. I'm more than happy to do this, but I'm also inspired to make a yummy ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: What exactly are the rules for saving seats at an informal event where seats are not assigned?

When I was invited to my nephew's martial arts presentation, I arrived half an hour early to save seats for my family of five (three of us were present) because the others were coming from work and couldn't arrive early.

A woman ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My company has a return to office four days a week mandate this year. While it's nice to have the in-person camaraderie, co-workers who are conspicuously ill are coming in and spreading their contagion. (My company provides a generous two weeks of "occasional absence," which may be used for sick days, doctor appointments and ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I'm no more a fan of call waiting than Miss Manners is, but I do want to defend its limited utility. I was co-owner and manager of a small business for several years, and I frequently had to act as receptionist by answering our office phone.

If I'm on the phone and call waiting sounds, I ask Party A to wait 15 seconds while I...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am curious what the etiquette is at a gathering when music is playing in a friend's home on the voice-controlled device.

Is it OK for a guest to speak directly to the device to ask it to play a song?

GENTLE READER: Many of us remain skeptical of manufacturers' claims that if only we keep paying for upgrades, tomorrow's ...Read more