ArcaMax

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Our house uses an electronic door code instead of a key and lock. Our relatives know the code, from times when they needed to access our home without us there -- for instance, picking up supplies for us while we were in the hospital, or getting to the house before us for a dinner when the weather was bad.

Outside of times ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Our group of friends is about 15 people large. We have known each other for over three decades. At the opposite end of the group is a couple that we only see when the entire group gets together.

We like to entertain, and have invited this couple for years. They have never accepted our invitations, though they accept ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: One co-worker likes to host office parties with food-themed potlucks. She will suggest a dish that she will cook and bring to share, such as trays of chicken wings or seafood pasta. Generally a lunch would have eight to 20 people.

As she likes to make these meat- or seafood-based dishes, she will then ask for financial ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have a dear friend who occasionally attends functions with me where food is available -- usually breakfasts. She invariably takes an item (a bagel, muffin or cookie, say), breaks off the amount she wants and then puts the remainder back on the serving platter.

I think this is wrong, as she's touching the food with bare ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My son is graduating with honors from a very selective university. My husband wants to invite family from both sides to attend, which would require everyone to travel out of state to a very expensive city.

Initially, we were going to host a nice party after the ceremony. Now it's completely off, due to volatility in my ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My child's school is having a staff appreciation week, which isn't a bad idea, given the effort they put in and how they enhance our kids' lives. What strikes me as extremely gauche, however, is that it's organized and run by the school, while asking parents to contribute.

This seems like the kind of thing that parents should...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: When serving a steak, the server will often say something along the lines of, "Please cut into the center to make sure it's cooked the way you want it."

At a business dinner of around 20 people, I was rather rudely corrected for doing so by someone who thought I was about to commence eating before everyone's entree had been ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My daughter was married this past weekend. She originally invited her maid of honor, "Sophie," without a plus-one because my daughter was unaware of any relationship. Sophie complained and asked for a plus-one so that her boyfriend, Sam (whom my daughter had never met), could attend with her. Sophie's parents were also not ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I needed to have the washer and dryer replaced in my apartment, and two maintenance workers showed up to do the work around breakfast time.

I usually make breakfast for my husband before he heads to school, but I felt uncomfortable cooking for the two of us without offering anything to the maintenance men who were there.

So ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am trying to drink more water, so I set an alarm on my phone to remind me hourly. Sometimes I am in public when the alarm (birds or crickets chirping) goes off.

I turn it off immediately, but my husband says the noise is rude. But if I could remember to shut off the alarm when leaving the house, I wouldn't need an alarm to ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband and I have joined a fitness club. The policy of the gym is that members do not talk on their phones in the workout area.

While there is very little of that, many people do talk with each other and text on their phones. The problem is they sit on the machines while doing so -- sometimes for five or 10 minutes.

...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have developmental prosopagnosia, or face-blindness, and cannot recognize any human faces. I work remotely in a profession that does not require me to interact directly with others. My husband watches TV and movies with me in case I confuse the characters, and goes to parties with me to help me know who I'm talking with.

I ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: What is a polite way to refuse a hug with friends or strangers? What to do when my proffered handshake is batted away and a hug pursued instead?

Some men, especially, seem to want to hug me because of my large chest, and it seems more like sexual assault than a friendly gesture. And there are certain women (whom I do not ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I was taught by my mother and grandmother, who practiced what they preached, that condolence letters are to be acknowledged.

Their practice was to answer every condolence letter with a return letter. It could be long or short, but at the very least it should express gratitude for the sender's thoughtfulness.

I have followed ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My fiance and I have chosen not to register for gifts. Not only do we wish to do what is proper, but we already live together in a tiny apartment and have neither the need nor the space for additional housekeeping items.

Nor do we wish to crassly solicit money from our guests. And since the wedding is in my fiance's small, ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: When hosting a cocktail hour, how does the hostess gracefully navigate the quantity of food served? For example, if the cheese platter is reduced to a few bites, should the hostess be constantly monitoring and replenishing it, even if the planned "hour" has passed?

I certainly don't want to appear stingy with guests. But ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My daughter is graduating from high school, but she does not want a party. I would still like to send out graduation cards to help celebrate her achievement, but I don't know how to write it. Should I state that she is not having a party, but that she is attending the ceremony?

I would like for people to have a way to ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: There is a relatively nice person who works near me in a busy financial office. They are talented and smart, but they have an annoying habit of interjecting a constant stream of unsolicited advice and warnings about health into every single conversation.

They will warn me of the plastic in teabags as they watch me make a cup ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: A friend, who professes to love me, behaved irrationally on a two-day visit to my house. He says he is always in a lot of pain due to fibromyalgia, neuropathy and a tendon missing in his shoulder.

I have two disintegrating discs pressing on nerves in my lower back, which is very painful. During his visit, I waited on him hand...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: The first time my friend left me waiting for her for an hour when we had plans to meet for lunch, I expressed my displeasure. She defended herself with the same excuses she used in her texts to me: She was running late; she'd run into traffic; she would be there in another 5 minutes (sometimes at 15-minute intervals).

The ...Read more