How can I explain that God’s standard of love is quite different from the cultural trappings?

on Nov 18, 2025

From the writings of the Rev. Billy Graham

Q: This may be a wrong reason to go to church, but when I moved away from home to start college, I looked for a church where I might meet a nice, young Christian lady. I’ve spent time with someone but am disappointed she isn’t in tune with what true love really is; I fall short in explaining that God’s standard of love is quite different from the cultural trappings. Where do I start? – Y.L.

A: There’s a lot of so-called love in our world today, which is not really love but is instead based on selfishness and even lust. Many people are consumed with satisfying their own selfish needs, realizing later that it doesn’t work.

There’s such a thing as true love that is selfless love. This is the kind of love the Bible talks about when it speaks of God’s love for us. It’s also the kind of love that the Bible describes briefly but profoundly in 1 Corinthians 13:4–7: “Love … is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things … endures all things” (NKJV).

This high standard is made possible by strength that comes in believing in Jesus Christ and asking for His power to fulfill such a lofty goal in any relationship. What would happen if mankind truly lived by this standard?

God wants everyone to understand what true love is, because it first comes from Him. No matter what pressures others might apply, stand strong!

God’s standards are often dismissed or scored as old-fashioned. But God’s standards have not changed, and neither have His promises to those who follow Christ. Many young people today are seeking to honor God in their lives. Putting God’s word into practice is the best pathway to follow.

========

(This column is based on the words and writings of the late Rev. Billy Graham.)