ArcaMax

Bad Husbands and Social Security

I've talked about the issue of bad husbands and Social Security before. But if my emails are any indication, there still are a lot of rotten husbands out there! That's why I keep telling my wife she should fall down on her knees every day and thank her lucky stars that she got one of the good guys. OK, I really don't do that. In fact, if I did say that to my wife, the only reason she might drop to her knees is that she'd be laughing so hard she wouldn't be able to keep standing!

But I can't help thinking there are an awful lot of ... well ... awful men out there. I get more than a few emails from women asking me a Social Security question that involves being married to a jerk. Oh, and I'm sure there are more than a few nasty women out there, too. But in the almost 30 years I've been writing this column, I've never heard from a husband with a Social Security question involving a mean old wife. But again, I hear from wives of rotten husbands all the time. Here are several examples.

Q: I was married to a very controlling and aggressive man. We owned a farm and I helped him run the operation. After several years of living together and then less than 10 years of marriage, he said I was getting too fat for him and he filed for divorce. We were married for 9 years and 10 months. I was so soured on men that I never married again after that. He remarried several times. I learned he recently died. I'm 68 years old and am living on a small Social Security check that I earned by doing a variety of jobs over the years. When I called Social Security and asked if I could get any widow's benefits on his record, they said no. They said I had to have been married for 10 years. I have two questions. First, is that 10-year rule really the law? And second, can I get any Social Security credit for those years we ran the farm together?

A: Let me tackle your second question first. I'm going to assume that in those years that you ran the farm with Mr. Wonderful, he filed self-employment tax returns placing all the income from the farm under his name and Social Security number. (That's a very common scenario in mom-and-pop self-employment situations. Pop -- or usually his accountant -- puts all the earnings on his record and mom gets goose eggs!) Too bad you didn't pay attention to that while you were running the farm, because there is nothing you can do about that now.

The answer to your first question is that the 10-year rule is indeed the law for women trying to get benefits as a divorced spouse. And 10 years means 10 years. Sadly, 9 years and 10 months just won't cut it.

But I can give you a little glimmer of hope. You said you were with this guy for a couple of years before you got married. If you can show that you were in a common-law relationship with him during that time, you might be able to say you had two years of a common-law marriage and nine years of a traditional marriage, making more than 10 years combined. But that would only work if you were indeed in a common law relationship with this guy and if you lived in a state that recognizes common law marriage. So check into that and proceed from there.

Q: After almost 40 years of marriage, my husband left me for a much younger woman. We're still married and I don't plan to give him a divorce because I want to get back at him by collecting his Social Security. He's 62 but says he doesn't plan to file for Social Security until he is 70. He would never let me work outside the home, so I don't have my own Social Security. I am 62 years old. How will I be able to get the spousal benefits I'm due if he refuses to sign up for Social Security?

A: You can get the benefits you are due on his record by dumping his sorry butt! As long as you remain married to him, the law assumes he is supporting you so it won't let you get any of his Social Security until he files for benefits. And you certainly don't want to wait until age 70 for that to happen.

But if you get a divorce, then you will be eligible for benefits (although not right away). That's because the law allows a divorced woman to collect a wife's benefits from her ex-husband's Social Security record even if he isn't getting benefits himself. He must be old enough to be eligible for Social Security. And he is, because you said he's 62 years old. The law does make you wait two years after the divorce before you can collect from the ex. But filing for benefits at 64 is better than waiting until 70. So see a divorce lawyer and once he is legally out of your hair, wait a couple of years and then contact your local Social Security office.

Here is another evil thought. Maybe the excitement of being with that "much younger woman" will cause your ex to have a heart attack and drop dead. Then you will be eligible for much higher divorced widow's benefits on his account.

Q: I want to know if there is any way I can attach my husband's Social Security. We were married for 20 years. He maxed out our credit cards, buying all kinds of things (cars, boats, campers, etc.) I didn't think we needed. Then he ran off with another woman (taking the camper and boat) and left me with all the bills. I was hounded by some pretty aggressive bill collectors and I finally paid off all his debt. He has no plans to pay me back. So I want to know this: can I attach his Social Security in order to get back the money that he owes me? By the way, I have worked and have my own Social Security, but it's a little less than he would be due.

A: It sounds like you need a good lawyer, not a Social Security guy. But since you asked, I'll address your question.

As a general rule, Social Security benefits can only be garnished to collect back taxes or to collect past-due child support. So I'm afraid you won't be able to "attach" his Social Security.

But if you have a voodoo doll in his likeness, you might want to stick some pins in it. Why? Because the only way you will be able to touch his Social Security is by collecting divorced widow's benefits on his account. (You can't get any of his Social Security while he's alive because your own benefit exceeds the small percentage of his benefit that you are due as a divorced spouse of a living husband.)

If you have a Social Security question, Tom Margenau has two books with all the answers. One is called "Social Security -- Simple and Smart: 10 Easy-to-Understand Fact Sheets That Will Answer All Your Questions About Social Security." The other is "Social Security: 100 Myths and 100 Facts." You can find the books at Amazon.com or other book outlets. Or you can send him an email at thomas.margenau@comcast.net. To find out more about Tom Margenau and to read past columns and see features from other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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