Dear Answer Angel Ellen: Now that the holidays are behind us, perhaps you and your readers can help me with a gift-giving dilemma.

For Christmas, I gave an elderly aunt a beautiful green-stemmed wine glass that matches exactly a set that her grandmother had used for special occasions. I knew that my friend had only one like it, which she treasured. (All the others in the set were long gone, broken by prior generations, I guess.)

I found a match on eBay and was excited to see her open the gift. I expected her to be thrilled that her lone wine glass now had a mate. When she opened the package her reaction to the gift was underwhelming: “Oh, she said rather weakly. “Nice.”

And that was it.

I was crestfallen. Where did I go wrong?

--Vanessa D.

Dear Vanessa: Quit kicking yourself for giving an extremely thoughtful gift. It had all the right elements: sentimental, chosen with love and hard-to-find.

Perhaps it did not excite her because it had not actually been used years ago by her grandmother. In a vintage store, I once found a set of plastic red Christmas cookie cutters for my grandmother, exactly like the set she had once owned but that had cracked from loving overuse years ago. I was so surprised when my grandma opened the present and had a disappointing, indifferent response just like your friend.

Sometimes the best gift just is not very appreciated. If there were prizes given out for thoughtful gift giving, you would win.

Another gift-giving question…

Dear Answer Angel Ellen: I want to give my sister a replacement for the purse she uses every day. It is probably four or five years old and starting to wear out: zippers stick, the strap is fraying.

If I could find an exact duplicate I would buy it, but so far an Internet search of resellers of clothes and accessories has turned up none. There is nothing really special about the purse — it is not a designer bag but it is a popular brand name. She definitely needs a new bag and, I think, would appreciate a similar one with features like the beat-up one.

Or should I just buy her a birthday sweater or something boring like that?

-- Franny G.

Dear Franny: I’m sometimes happily surprised when resellers like eBay.com or poshmark.com, etc. come up with a match for something I had asked to be notified about when/if a similar item comes in. Try that approach if you haven’t already.

If you think sis would be happy with a similar handbag, measure the one she has — size is important in purses, just like clothing. Make note of her old one’s zipper pockets and other features like the strap, the interior pockets, a place to attach keys. Then get to work online for not an exact dupe but something similar.

Hopefully, your sister is a better gift receiver than the above wine glass story. Just in case, be sure to check out the return policies of the store or website you use, so your sister can chose something she would prefer.

Angelic Readers

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