MIAMI — College basketball stinks.

I hate what it has become — and not by sinister attack from the outside, but by its own hand. We are watching a sport cannibalize itself with the institutionalized chaos and greed of the transfer portal and NIL money. College hoops has become an unholy mess that needs major fixing, and I’m here to give it a shot.

As a quick side note, I would first admit the timing of this might seem odd to some. Acknowledged. The sport is right now nearing the crescendo of the national celebration of itself as the men’s NCAA Tournament has reached its Final Four teams and the women’s side gets there. The women play April 6 and the men on April 7.

I’m over here casting my soggy blanket while, to partying bracketheads, now is when March (into April) Madness reaches its triumphant apex. If you still love college basketball despite itself, you may see me as the guy on Bourbon Street holding up the "Repent And Turn To Jesus" sign during Mardi Gras.

But don’t get it wrong. The teams and players are great. It’s their sport that stinks.

Many see it as a good thing that the 2025 brackets are covered with chalk, that the men’s Final Four is made up of all regional No. 1 seeds in Florida vs. Auburn and Houston vs. Duke. The women’s Final Four will be all No. 1s or all 1’s and 2s depending on Monday night’s results.

This, too, is bad for the sport. Great for the biggest programs as the rich get richer, but bad for college basketball as a whole.

March Madness once reveled in the charm of the underdog, but Cinderella is dead, the fairy tale exposed as fallacy in the new era. Cinderella is dead and the transfer portal and Name, Image & Likeness bribe money luring other schools’ top players should be wanted for her murder.

The transfer portal opened March 24 and ends April 22 — the insane timing of it disrupting teams even as they compete in the Big Dance.

“Why the hell are we talking about next year’s roster when we’re still fighting for a championship?” said Michigan State coach Tom Izzo.

He calls the transfer portal the “urinal” of college basketball.

Said 85-year-old ESPN icon Dick Vitale: “I think it’s a joke. I think it’s absurd to have the transfer portal during the heart of March Madness. I think that’s crazy; it’s ludicrous. It is totally wacky what’s going on.”

More than 1,200 players turned backs on their team to enter the portal in the first two days of the one-month window, including Michigan freshman Justin Pippen, even as his Wolverines were reaching the Sweet 16 as a No. 5 seed. Robert Morris, despite reaching the tournament, lost all five starters to the portal.

Today almost half of all college basketball players are transfers, including 297 who played or are playing in this men’s NCAA Tournament.

Only two years ago, the Miami Hurricanes men reached the first Final Four in program history, and the reward was most of UM’s key players recalling days later they would be transferring. Veteran coach Jim Larranaga was devastated. He resigned the middle of this season.

The wide-open, Wild Wild West free agency fueled by NIL bidding has wrecked the stability of the sport, festooning the haves while hurting the have-nots, creating a disparity reflected in all No. 1 playing for the title.

Quick fixes:

Open the transfer window after the NCAA Tournament ends and leave it open half the time, only two weeks.

Limit the number of times a player may transfer.

Limit the number of transfer a school may take in.

Perhaps require players to sign a two-year contact to limit movement.

Limit the scope of NIL bidding in a way that achieves some parity and gives non-power conferences a fighting chance.

Eliminate the NBA’s one-and-done rule that allows college players to enter the pro draft after their freshman year. Women’s college hoops has surged in popularity at least in part because players may not enter the WNBA draft until the year they turn 22. The men should be required to play at least two college seasons.

This isn’t me railing against the end of amateurism or college athletes being paid. It’s about guardrails that protect the stability of the sport and promote parity by limiting the ability of major programs to steal smaller schools’ best players with what amounts to bribe money.

It makes college basketball look dirty ... because it is dirty.

“The kids deserve money. I have no problem with that,” Vitale said. “But the bottom line is this chaotic movement leads to no stability.”

A few other final quick things:

— Other than the storied NIT, the other tournaments for warmed-up leftovers like the College Basketball Crown should quietly disappear.

— The two NCAA Tournaments should eliminate the play-in games and expand to, say, 76 teams.

— The men’s tournament selection committee should not include school personnel like North Carolina athletic director Bubba Cunningham, who controversially helped the Tar Heels get the final invite over West Virginia. Blatant bad look.

Meantime enjoy the rest of the NCAA Tournaments as they decide their champions.

And good luck to your school’s team next season. You’ll need a program to tell who your players are, and it’ll change before the ink has dried.

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