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Ko$ta Doing Business: Save Money by Eating Like a Kid & Stiffing the Tooth Fairy | The Daily Show

Humor / Jokes /

Michael Kosta has the hottest moolah-making tips for how to capitalize on recent economic headlines, like adults ordering off the kids' menu, the tooth fairy short-changing kids, and a recall on exploding prosecco bottles from Costco, in the latest installment of Ko$ta Doing Business.

Meanwhile... Tony Hawk's Million Dollar Skateboard | Meat Stick Recall | Panspermia

Humor / Jokes /

Meanwhile... Skateboarding legend Tony Hawk auctioned off his most famous skateboard, large numbers of corn dogs are being recalled, and a Russian experiment is testing the theory that life on Earth was seeded from outer space.

American Girl Doll Movie Trailer - SNL

Humor / Jokes /

A movie trailer introduces a live-action story for American Girl dolls as they travel to the modern world.

Atheists Don't Have No Songs - Steve Martin and the Steep Canyon Rangers feat. Edie Brickell

Humor / Jokes /

Clip from Steve Martin and the Steep Canyon Rangers featuring Edie Brickell Live. The entire concert is at Great Performances on PBS.

Bumper Snickers pt. 1

Humor / Jokes /

Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.

Artificial Intelligence usually beats real stupidity.

Assassins do it from behind.

Better to understand a little than to misunderstand a lot.

Continued below...

Sauerkraut

Humor / Jokes /

A doctor started an affair with his nurse. Shortly after this started, she announced that she was pregnant.

Not wanting his wife to find out, he gave her a large amount on money and asked her to go out of the country, to Germany, to wait out her pregnancy and have the baby over there.

"But, how will you know when our baby is born?" she ...Read more

If The Earth Were a Small Village

Humor / Jokes /

If we could shrink the earth's population to a village of 100 people, with everything else remaining the same, it would look like this:

There would be:

* 57 Asians
* 21 Europeans
* 14 from the Western Hemisphere,
* 8 Africans,

* 52 would be female
* 48 would be male

* 70 would be ...Read more

Pentagon Incentive

Humor / Jokes /

The pentagon recently found it had too many generals and offered an early retirement bonus. They promised any general who retired right away, his full annual benefits PLUS $10,000 for every inch measured in a straight line along the retiring general's body between two points he chose.

The first general accepted. He asked the pension man to ...Read more

Lawyer Joke

Humor / Jokes /

An American attorney had just finished a guest lecture at a law school in Italy when an Italian lawyer approached him and asked, "Is it true that a person can fall down on a sidewalk in your county and then sue the landowners for lots of money?"

Told that it was true, the lawyer turned to his partner and started speaking rapidly in Italian. ...Read more

27 Times Penny Said What We Were All Thinking

Humor / Jokes /

Every friend group needs a Penny.

SAG Awards: Stars DRINK If They've Been on Law & Order

Humor / Jokes /

Timothée Chalamet, Zoe Saldaña and more 'Law & Order' alums get recognized at the 31st Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards, streaming on Netflix. Two of the night's presenters, Keke Palmer and Colman Domingo, celebrate their own history with the long-running crime series with a drinking game for the star-studded ballroom.

Timothy Olyphant's Mom Can't Tell Him & Josh Duhamel Apart - CONAN on TBS

Humor / Jokes /

In fact, Timothy once had Josh Duhamel stand in for him in the Olyphant's Christmas card.

Sarah Sherman Reflects on Failed SNL Sketches with Timothée Chalamet and Paul Rudd

Humor / Jokes /

Sarah Sherman talks about opening for Adam Sandler, telling Paul McCartney she has the same haircut as him during SNL's 50th anniversary special and the insane underwater photoshoot she did for her HBO comedy special SARAH SQUIRM: LIVE + IN THE FLESH.

If Hogwarts Were an Inner-City School - Key & Peele

Humor / Jokes /

An HBO documentary dives deep into the deplorable conditions at Vincent Clortho Public School for Wizards.

Bumper Snickers pt. 3

Humor / Jokes /

... continued from above

Alcohol and calculus don't mix. Never drink and derive.

If we are what we eat; I'm cheap, fast, and easy.

Stop repeat offenders. Don't re-elect them!

"Criminal Lawyer" is a redundancy.

Continued below...

Bumper Snickers pt. 1

Humor / Jokes /

If you drink, don't park. Accidents cause people.

If you can read this, I can hit my brakes and sue you.

Save the whales! Trade them for valuable prizes.

Whitewater is over when the First Lady sings.

Continued below...

What the teacher says and (what the teacher means)

Humor / Jokes /

1. Your son has a remarkable ability in gathering needed information from his classmates.
(He was caught cheating on a test).

2. Karen is an endless fund of energy and viability.
(The hyperactive monster can't stay seated for five minutes).

3. Fantastic imagination! Unmatched in his capacity for blending fact with fiction.
(...Read more

He's only interested in one thing

Humor / Jokes /

A daddy teased his little daughter by suggesting she liked a certain boy in her kindergarten class.

The little girl was quite indignant. "No, daddy, I don't like him!" she stated. "He's only interested in one thing."

Shocked, the daddy cautiously asked what that one thing might be.

"Power Rangers, of course," said the toddler.

Presidential Quotes

Humor / Jokes /

"If Lincoln were alive today he'd roll over in his grave." --Gerald Ford (president, 1974-77)

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"A friend of mine was asked to a costume ball a while ago. He slapped some egg on his face and went as a liberal economist." --Ronald Reagan

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"I want to make sure everybody who has a job wants a job." --George Bush

Guillermo Steals Ryan Reynolds’ Job - Sponsored by Mint Mobile

Humor / Jokes /

Ryan Reynolds is a very busy man who can’t be everywhere at once. So fortunately we have a brand new Mint Mobile spokesman to pick up the slack.

 

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