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Still More Actual Answers Given on Family Feud

Humor / Jokes /

Name something that floats in the bath - Water

Name something you wear on the beach - A deckchair

Name something Red - My cardigan

Name a famous cowboy - Buck Rogers

Name a famous royal - Mail

A number you have to memorize - 7

Something you do before going to bed - Sleep

Something you put on walls - Roofs

Something in the garden that's ...Read more

Fire!

Humor / Jokes /

A fire started in some grasslands near a farm. The county fire department was called to put out the fire. The fire was more than the county fire department could handle. Someone suggested that a nearby volunteer bunch be called. Despite some doubt that the volunteer outfit would be of any assistance, the call was made.

The volunteers ...Read more

More Words Not Yet In The Dictionary

Humor / Jokes /

ELBONICS (el bon' iks) n. The actions of two people maneuvering for one armrest in a movie theater.

ELECELLERATION (el a cel er ay' shun) n. The mistaken notion that the more you press an elevator button the faster it will arrive.

FRUST (frust) n. The small line of debris that refuses to be swept onto the dust pan and keeps backing a person ...Read more

"It's All Fun & Games When You Have Grandchildren" - Eugene Levy

Humor / Jokes /

Four-time Emmy-winner Eugene Levy revels in the joys of being a grandpa to a boy who he says "is getting cuter by the day." Stick around for more with Eugene Levy and watch the season premiere of "The Reluctant Traveler" on September 19th on AppleTV+

British Stars on Which American Accent Is Hardest to Do | Vanity Fair

Humor / Jokes /

We quiz the stars of our British Portfolio on their favorite royals, American accents, and which English traditions need to finally cross the pond. Featuring Tom Hiddleston, James McAvoy, Judi Dench, Emily Blunt, Matthew Goode, Felicity Jones and more.

"An Out-Of-Body Experience" - Cillian Murphy On Winning An Oscar For "Oppenheimer"

Humor / Jokes /

Renowned actor Cillian Murphy tells Stephen what it felt like hearing his name called at the Academy Awards in 2024 when he won Best Actor for his role in "Oppenheimer." Stick around for more with Cillian Murphy and watch "Steve" in select theaters September 19th and streaming on Netflix on October 3rd.

1977: Original STAR WARS Review | Film 77 | Classic Movie Review | BBC Archive

Humor / Jokes /

Barry Norman gives his thoughts on George Lucas's phenomenally successful science fantasy film Star Wars, ahead of its UK release.

T-1000 run explained by Robert Patrick

Humor / Jokes /

My T-1000 run in Terminator 2: Judgment Day — here’s the real story behind it. James Cameron wanted the T-1000 to look unstoppable, like a machine that never tires. That meant I had to train myself to run full-speed without breathing through my mouth — only through my nose. No huffing, no puffing, just pure, relentless pursuit. All ...Read more

Blondes on the THP pt. 1

Humor / Jokes /

Three blondes were all applying for the last available position on the Texas Highway Patrol. The detective conducting the interview looked at the three of them and said, "So y'all want to be cops, huh?" The blondes all nodded.

The detective got up, opened a file drawer, and pulled out a folder.

Sitting back down, he opened it, pulled out a ...Read more

A Farm Kid Joins the Marines pt. 3

Humor / Jokes /

... continued from above

The sergeant is like a school teacher. He nags a lot. The Captain is like the school board. Majors and Colonels just ride around and frown. They don't bother you none.

This next will kill Walt and Elmer with laughing. I keep getting medals for shooting. I don't know why. The bulls-eye is near as big as a chipmunk head ...Read more

Drugs

Humor / Jokes /

I think my wife is selling drugs! Yesterday I was running a little bit late for work and the phone rang. I answered it. Before I could say anything a male voice on the line said, Hey honey is that dope gone yet?

Not So Great

Humor / Jokes /

Three baseball fans were having a conversation about what they would do when they die. When they finished they all agreed that the first one to die had to come back and tell the other two if they had a baseball team in heaven.

Two months later one dies in a car accident. After the other two left the funeral they went to watch a baseball game. ...Read more

Airport Mix-Up

Humor / Jokes /

During the 'rush hour' at Houston's Hobby Airport, a flight was delayed due to a mechanical problem.

Since they needed the gate for another flight, the aircraft was backed away from the gate while the maintenance crew worked on it. The passengers were then told the new gate number, which was some distance away. Everyone moved to the new gate, ...Read more

Only the Nose Knows

Humor / Tracy Beckerman /

Superman is able to see through walls.

Spider-Man can detect things with his Spidey-sense.

Me? I can smell something in the next county. Yes, it's true. I am Super Smell Woman (not to be confused with the significantly less appealing Super Smelly Woman). I can detect unseen mold under a bathtub mat. I can sniff out spoiled milk from behind ...Read more

50 Ways to Mess With People in a Computer Lab pt. 2

Humor / Jokes /

... continued from above

13. Enter the lab, undress, and start staring at other people as if they're crazy while typing.

14. Light candles in a pentagram around your terminal before starting.

15. Ask around for a spare disk. Offer $2. Keep asking until someone agrees. Then, pull a disk out of your fly and say "Oops, I forgot."

16. Every ...Read more

Yeah, That'll Work

Humor / Jokes /

This technician's company uses satellite communications to send and receive messages from tugboats moving barges up and down major rivers. Each day, by 2 p.m., the tugboats send data on the day's activities to the company's traffic department.

At least that's how it's supposed to work.

"I got a call from our traffic department saying they only...Read more

Changing the Answers

Humor / Jokes /

The answer to the problem was "log(1+x)". A student copied the answer from the student next to him, but didn't want to make it obvious that he was cheating, so he changed the answer slightly, to "timber(1+x)".

Beautiful

Humor / Jokes /

There was a lawyer and he was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side.

His eyes fluttered open and he said, "You're beautiful!" and then he fell asleep again.

His wife had never heard him say that so she stayed by his side. A couple minutes later his eyes fluttered open and he said "You're cute!"

...Read more

Lawyer in Hell

Humor / Jokes /

A lawyer died and was delivered into the devil's hands. "You will be spending eternity here, but I'll let you pick your own room from three I'll show you," the devil said.

In the first room were thousands of people standing on their heads on a brick floor. "I don't like that," said the man. "Show me the second."

In the second room were ...Read more

All In The Family | Mike Meets Archie For The First Time | The Norman Lear Effect

Humor / Jokes /

Gloria (Sally Struthers) has a new boyfriend called Michael (Rob Reiner) and she is very excited to introduce him to her parents (Carroll O'Connor and Jean Stapleton), but Archie doesn't feel the same way.

 

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