ArcaMax

After 33 years of marriage, my husband and I have finally figured out why we sometimes have trouble communicating: He can't read my mind.

I know. I was shocked too. But there it was. And the sad fact was, I was enlightened over a bag of garbage.

One morning I came downstairs to find a bag of garbage sitting near the back door, exactly where ...Read more

A young man who was also an avid golfer found himself with a few hours to spare one afternoon. He figured if he hurried and played very fast, he could get in 9 holes before he had to head home.

Just as he was about to tee off an old gentleman shuffled onto the tee and asked if he could accompany the young man as he was golfing alone.

Not being...Read more

There were these two professors arguing over which one had the dumber child. Each professor thought his was the bigger idiot. The first professor yells "There is no way that your son is dumber. My son has to be THE stupidest kid on Earth."

The second professor says "No way, Jose. My son is the bigger idiot."

The first professor says "Let me ...Read more

Theorem: 1$ = 10 cent
Proof:
We know that $1 = 100 cents
Divide both sides by 100
$ 1/100 = 100/100 cents
=> $ 1/100 = 1 cent
Take square root both side
=> squr($1/100) = squr (1 cent)
=> $ 1/10 = 1 cent
Multiply both side by 10
=> $1 = 10 cent

On Tough Jobs that Involve Letters: "It's not as easy as it looks, being on all the time. I mean, what happens if I'm in a bad mood?" -- Vanna White, "Wheel of Fortune" co-star

On Standards, the Mega-Rich and: "I'd rather not talk about money. It's kind of gross." -- Barbra Streisand, dodging a question about what she was paid to direct ...Read more

A businessman from Wisconsin went on a business trip to Louisiana. Upon arrival, he immediately plugged his laptop into the hotel room port and sent a short E-mail back home to his wife, Jennifer Johnson, at her address, which began with JennJohn.

Unfortunately, in his haste, he mistyped a letter and the E-mail ended up going to and address ...Read more

A rabbi was called to a Miami Beach Nursing Home to perform a wedding.

An anxious old man met him at the door. The rabbi sat down to counsel the old man and asked several questions. "Do you love her?"

The old man replied, "I guess."

"Is she a good Jewish woman?"

"I don't know for sure," the old man answered.

"Does she have lots of money?" ...Read more

My housecat went down to the local military recruiting depot to sign up for the service. He came back about two hours later and sadly explained that he couldn't enlist because he would have to be "de-furred."

A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day.

The Russian said, "We were the first in space!"

The American said, "We were the first on the moon!"

The Blonde said, "So what? We're going to be the first on the sun!"

The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads. "You can't land on the sun. You'll burn up...Read more