Humor
/Entertainment
Things to Say to Ruin a Date
There are lots of ways to ruin a date. Here are a few things NOT to say on a date...
I really don't like this restaurant that much, but I wanted to use this 2-for-1 coupon before it expired.
I refuse to get cable. That's how they keep tabs on you.
I used to come here all the time with my ex.
Could you excuse me? My cat gets lonely if he ...Read more
Mouse Test
Is your mouse calibrated If you’re not sure, then it’s probably not. You should do this every few weeks to ensure your getting the most performance and smoothest operation possible, especially if you spend alot of time on the computer.
Being somewhat of a tech-guy, I was shocked that this actually works. To re-calibrate your mouse, click ...Read more
Two Crooks
Did you hear about the two guys who stole everything out of a house except the soap and towels. They were dirty crooks!
What Denomination?
A woman went to the Post Office to buy stamps for her Christmas Cards. "What denomination?" asked the clerk.
"Oh, good heavens! Have we come to this?" said the woman. "Well, give me 30 Catholic, 10 Baptist ones, 20 Lutheran, and 40 Presbyterian."
Quick Quotes
"We used to play spin the bottle when I was a kid. A girl would spin the bottle and if it pointed to you when it stopped, the girl could either kiss you or give you a dime. By the time I was 14, I owned my own home."
~ Gene Perret
~ ~ ~
"As a child, a library card takes you to exotic, faraway places. When you're grown up, a credit card ...Read more

Close Encounters... of The Furry Kind | Funny Animal Encounters | The Graham Norton Show
Lions, rhinos, and… who knows what else?! 😱 Some of these celebrity animal encounters are TOO CLOSE FOR COMFORT!

Adam Scott on the Severance Finale, Fans Thirsting After His Short Hair & Telling His Wife Spoilers
Adam talks about the finale of “Severance” on Apple TV+, telling his wife Naomi spoilers, his kids being interested in the show, fan art of his character Mark S, people saying he looks hot in the flashback sequences, Ben Stiller coming up with his hair style on the show, Helena cutting into a hard-boiled egg in a recent episode, fans ...Read more

Sesame Street: Cynthia Erivo Sings "It's Not Easy Bein' Green" with Oscar the Grouch
Why wonder? You are special just the way you are! Watch "Wicked" star Cynthia Erivo sing this classic Sesame Street song with Oscar the Grouch!

Moon Unit Zappa Reflects on How Her Mother Was Her "First Bully" | The Drew Barrymore Show
Moon Unit Zappa joins Drew Barrymore to talk about her new book, "Earth to Moon" and reflect on her complicated childhood.

Aimee Lou Wood Reacts To Comments About Her Teeth | The Jonathan Ross Show
Aimee Lou Wood opens up as she reacts to comments about her teeth and shares the story behind that unforgettable snake scene from White Lotus!

Peter Doocy SAID WHAT? Scottie Pippin SELLS WHAT? & Dogs with Guns! | Have I Got News for You US
Sports journalist Bomani Jones and comedian Nimesh Patel join Roy, Amber & Michael and talk about dogs with guns, EVEN MORE EGG NEWS, Wolf Blitzer's spritzer, Peter Doocy's threat to Al Roker, and six foot subs!
For The Kids...
When a teacher closes his eyes, why should it remind him of an empty classroom?
Because there are no pupils to see!
Why did the teacher put the lights on?
Because the class was so dim!
How did Vikings communicate?
By norse code!
Teacher: How much is half of 8?
Pupil: Up and down or across?
Teacher: What do you ...Read more
Beethoven
When Beethoven passed away, he was buried in a churchyard. A couple days later, the town drunk was walking through the cemetery and heard some strange noise coming from the area where Beethoven was buried. Terrified, the drunk ran and got the priest to come and listen to it. The priest bent close to the grave and heard some faint, unrecognizable...Read more
Three Stages of Man
The 3 stages of man:
He believes in Santa Claus.
He doesn't believe in Santa Claus.
He is Santa Claus.
Second Notice
A taxpayer received a strongly worded "second notice" that his taxes were overdue. Hastening to the collector's office, he paid his bill, saying apologetically that he had overlooked the first notice.
"Oh," confided the collector with a smile, "we don't send out first notices. We have found that the second notices are more effective."
Blood Race
The junior officers challenged the senior officers at an Air Force Base in North Carolina to see who would donate the most blood.
After trying several times to locate a vein in the left arm of a young first lieutenant, the medical technician applied a Band-Aid, and then inserted a needle into the right arm, drawing blood this time, and then put...Read more
The little church in the suburbs
The little church in the suburbs suddenly stopped buying from its regular office supply dealer. So, the dealer telephoned Deacon Brown to ask why.
“I'll tell you why,” shouted Deacon Brown. “Our church ordered some pencils from you to be used in the pews for visitors to register.”
“Well,” interrupted the dealer, “didn't you ...Read more
A Long Way Home
Two blonde friends were going on a trip to Florida. A neighbor told them that they'd be fine as long as they paid attention to the road signs along the way. But they'd driven just 30 miles when they saw one that read "Clean Restrooms Ahead."
Two months later they arrived in Florida exhausted, having used up 86 bottles of Windex, 267 rolls of ...Read more
Give Bubba a Chance
It was graduation night at Cox High School and they were about halfway through the ceremony when the principal said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, we have a problem, Bubba is a few credits short and won't be able to graduate tonight."
Well now, Bubba was the starting right guard for Cox's football team, and when the student body heard that he wasn't ...Read more
For The Kids...
What do you get if you cross a cow with a camel?
Lumpy milkshakes!
What is the definition of a goose?
An animal that grows down as it grows up!
Why did Bo Peep lose her sheep?
She had a crook with her!
What do you give a pony with a cold?
Cough Stirrup!
What animal always goes to bed with its shoes on?
A horse!