Humor
/Entertainment
GIirls Behaving Badly: "Koo-Koo Chanel" in straitjacket
This is an all-female pranks show originally shown on the Oxygen Network. The prank takes place in a fake psychiatrist's office, where cast member Kira Soltanovich is led into the waiting room in an SJ with thin leather straps. As the "psychiatrist" leaves to handle the paperwork, Kira strikes up conversation with the unsuspecting dupes (a ...Read more
Best Patients
Five surgeons are discussing who makes the best patients on the operating table.
The first surgeon says, "I like to see accountants on my operating table, because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered."
The second responds, "Yeah, but you should try electricians! Everything inside them is color coded."
The third surgeon says, "...Read more
Cross Examination
A defense attorney was cross-examining a police officer during a felony trial - it went like this:
Q. Officer, did you see my client fleeing the scene?
A. No sir, but I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender running several blocks away.
Q. Officer, who provided this description?
A. The officer who ...Read more
Computer Weirdness in Movies
- A hacker can get into the most sensitive computer in the world before intermission and guess the secret password in two tries.
- Any PERMISSION DENIED has an OVERRIDE function. (See "Demolition Man" and countless others)
- Complex calculations and loading of huge amounts of data will be accomplished in under three seconds. Movie modems ...Read more
Movie Computers Ain't My Computer
- Word processors never display a cursor.
- You never have to use the space-bar when typing long sentences.
- All monitors display inch-high letters.
- High-tech computers, such as those used by NASA, the CIA, or some such governmental institution, will have easy-to-understand graphical interfaces.
- Those that don't will have incredibly ...Read more
For The Kids...
Who are some of the werewolves cousins?
The whatwolves and whenwolves!
What do you do if you see a skeleton running across a road?
Jump out of your skin and join him!
If you want to know more about Dracula what do you have to do?
Join his fang club!
How did the skeleton know it was going to rain?
He could feel it in ...Read more
Late Show Home Shopping New Items Drop On eBay & Sen. Jeff Flake Wins His Rug Back
Former Senator Jeff Flake is revealed as the winner of an extra special item that was up for grabs in The Late Show's charity auction. Check http://colbertlateshow.com/ebay now for your chance to bid on one-of-a-kind television memorabilia items from The Late Show. All proceeds go to support the mission of our friends at World Central Kitchen.
Alysa Liu Reacts to Becoming the Youngest Ever U.S. Figure Skating Champion
The youngest champion in U.S. Women's Figure Skating history, 13-year-old Alysa Liu, reacts to her historic win and shows Jimmy one of her competition rituals.
John Oliver Says American Audiences are Rabid, Talks About His Olympic Curling Obsession
John Oliver talks about hosting Last Week Tonight with John Oliver for 13 seasons, competing against Seth on Taskmaster Live and his passion for the Olympic sport of curling.
The Smothers Brothers On Getting Fired By CBS | Letterman
Remembering Tommy Smothers. RIP. (From "Late Night," air date: 5/24/82)
Christina Applegate on Naming Her Body Parts, Married with Children, Writing a Memoir & MS Awareness
Christina talks about her outlook after being diagnosed with MS, writing her new memoir You With the Sad Eyes, giving each of her limbs names, talking to them when they act up, the journal she has been keeping since she was ten, letting her fifteen-year-old daughter reading it, getting the part on “Married with Children,” her friendship with...Read more
Chicken Scratchins'
Q: Why does a chicken coop have two doors?
A: Because if had four doors it would be a chicken sedan!
Q: How long do chickens work?
A: Around the cluck!
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: To prove to the possum that it could be done!
Q: Why did the turkey cross the road?
A: To prove he wasn't chicken!
Q: Why did...Read more
Moscow Zoo
Father and son standing outside the elephant's cage in the Moscow Zoo. Father tells son, "If we stand around here long enough, one of them will throw some food at us."
To the Engineer
To the optimist, the glass is half full.
To the pessimist, the glass is half empty.
To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
In Court...
A prospective juror in a Dallas District Court was surprised by the definition of voluntary manslaughter given the panel: "An intentional killing that occurs while the defendant is under the immediate influence of sudden passion arising from an adequate cause, such as when a spouse's mate is found in a 'compromising position.'"
"See, I ...Read more
Colbert Before Air: Stephen Dishes with Julia Roberts About Evie and "Does This Taste Funny?"
Stephen signs over a copy of his cookbook, DOES THIS TASTE FUNNY? to Julia Roberts while hunting down an elusive banana bread recipe and sharing fun facts about his marriage to Evie.
Sir Patrick Stewart, Sir Paul McCartney & Sir Ringo Starr All Ran Into Each Other
Sir Patrick Stewart on how he, Sir Paul McCartney & Sir Ringo Starr all ran into each other in a restaurant.
Johnny Carson: Hilarious Phrases You'll Never Hear, Tonight Show 1989
Johnny Carson reads funny sayings and cliches that you'll never hear, on the Tonight Show 1989.
Twitter: Last Week Tonight with John Oliver (HBO)
John Oliver discusses how an already flawed Twitter got worse under Elon Musk, how it continues to impact us all, and what it has to do with the 30-40 trillion cells humans are composed of. Or, wait, sorry, Twitter doesn’t have anything to do with the cells. It’s about our understanding of the universe. Maybe. You’ll just have to take that...Read more
