ArcaMax

Rarely is the word "funky" used to describe an entire town, but welcome to Goodland, Florida -- all six blocks of it. Founded in the 1800s, this tiny town sits right outside a tiny harbor. A ride around the neighborhood reveals large and colorful dolphin, swordfish and flamingo mailboxes that entertain enroute. As if this weren't fun enough to see, what really catches you up are some roadside toilets sprouting bountiful bouquets of flowers.

When I stopped to ask directions, prefacing that with a friendly, "Do you live here?" I was a little surprised at the reply. "No, no one lives here; it's not big enough." On the other hand, Stan's restaurant could populate an entire small metropolis. So no, not your average town.

Funk reaches its peak on Sundays at the somewhat ramshackle Stan's Idle Hour Seafood Restaurant -- as it has since 1969. The sheer number of endlessly undulating bodies of humans overflowing the huge area in front of the bandstand at Stan's far exceeds the population of the town. People of all ages, sizes and shapes gather, and the eclectic nature of the vast hordes is revelatory.

One was a tattooed not-so-tough guy sporting a ponytail who sidled up to the bar at Stan's and ordered a glass of rose wine. I asked the guy sitting next to me, "What brings you here?" I was skeptical about his initial reply: "It's a great place to relax on a Sunday," until he added, "It appeals to bikers, bums and billionaires." Yup, that works. The juxtaposition of cars, golf carts and motorcycles swarming around the restaurant is its own visual phenomenon.

As the time progressed from 1 to 3, some of the undulating bodies coalesced into line-dancing aficionados. And then at 3 o'clock their myriad reasons for being there came into focus. People were swinging and swaying as they depicted the strange movements made by trash-scavenging buzzards as they hover over roadkill before landing to devour it. In this hallowed tribute to Stan's signature Buzzard Lope dance, the lyrics instruct participants to "Flap your wings up and down, take steps around and round." The decibel level of the music equaled the enthusiasm it engendered. This place is not a bar; it's an experience.

A sign above the stage proclaims: "Sunday is FUNday at Stan's. No one can have more fun in life than we can. If they don't like it, tell them to go next door. They're closed." So to take a break from the mayhem, we did. And it wasn't. Little's, the bar just down the road, had its own eccentricities.

Its fairly unconventional menu presentation required a large chalkboard to be balanced on the chairs in back of our bar stools, so we had to turn around to check out its offerings. A low-key -- very low-key when compared with its neighbor's entertainment combo -- folk duo crooned soothing ballads. They were polar extremes in ambience, which is further testament to Goodland's quirkiness. But it was almost Buzzard Lope time, so back we went to Stan's.

Away from Stan's, Goodland remains one of the last vestiges of the real Florida, where the 300 or so residents cling stubbornly to the past and visitors come because of what they don't find there -- glitzy theme parks, beaches virtually covered by blankets and natural beauty that has been uprooted and paved over. The tiny fishing village sits atop 40 acres of Calusa mounds comprised of shells, fish bones, pottery shards and other discards.

Stan's is one reason that while Goodland is a small town it has a reputation as a village that knows how to throw a party. Throughout the year, the community hosts a variety of events such as fishing tournaments and festivals that celebrate its history, local culture and love for all things seafood. And throughout the week, Stan's showcases different bands nightly.

But if Sunday is the apex of the week's entertainment, the annual Mullet Festival is the highlight of the year's festivities. More people -- if that's even possible -- louder music, a variety of vendors, a whole lot of fresh-caught fish and the mullet over which, of course, the Buzzard Lope Queen reigns.

If you truly want to relax, stop by Little's. But if you want to experience the essence of Goodland at its most extemporaneous, try to wedge yourself -- if you can find room -- into the Stan's experience.

----

WHEN YOU GO

For more information: stansidlehourgoodland.com, paradisecoast.com

========

Fyllis Hockman is a freelance writer. To read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

Copyright 2025 Creators Syndicate, Inc.