President Donald Trump wants new congressional maps in Texas — now. Not in the next decade. Not after the next census. Not when it’s traditionally done. He wants it done smack dab in the middle of the decade.

Why the odd timing? Because he wants it done in time to help his presidency.

In Trump’s mind, Texas is a vending machine: insert redistricting, receive five shiny new Republican seats. “We are entitled to five more seats,” he declared on CNBC, his voice dripping with the royal “we” of someone who thinks democracy is nothing but a loyalty program.

This is merely the latest example of Trump’s fondness for procedural hardball. He recently sacked the Bureau of Labor Statistics commissioner for reporting job numbers he didn’t like. And his congressional minions just passed a bipartisan bill that required Democratic votes to get through, only to use budget “rescissions” to take back the Democratic priorities they never intended to fund.

Trump plays Calvinball with democracy — rules change mid-play, and he’s somehow always the one scoring.

And here’s the thing: It’s not illegal. “Not illegal” in the same way that drinking milk straight from the carton isn’t illegal — just gross, petty and an announcement to the room that you’re not interested in living by any mutually agreed-upon standards. (Trust me. I have teenagers.)

The Texas gambit, though, is utterly Trumpian in its ambitious recklessness. It might work. Or it might backfire and actually cost Republicans 2026 midterm seats. But either way, this aggression is radioactive.

Consider the immediate reaction. Texas Democrats, lacking the votes to block the move, fled the state entirely — denying Republicans the quorum they needed to conduct business.

This, in turn, was met with all the subtlety of a bounty hunt. The Texas House speaker signed civil arrest warrants for the missing lawmakers. The governor ordered state officials to search every warehouse, farmhouse, henhouse, outhouse and doghouse. (Just kidding. That was Tommy Lee Jones in “The Fugitive.” But, honestly, it’s a pretty close approximation.)

Powder keg vibes abound. What happens if and when a Texas lawman tries to slap cuffs on a Democrat in New York or California? Do we get a full-blown interstate standoff? A live cable news shootout of sheriffs and state troopers at the airport terminal gate?

Even if nothing that crazy happens, legislators making $600 a month are being fined $500 a day for their absence. And the governor has even threatened bribery charges against anyone helping them pay the fines.

But here’s where the escalation really kicks in. Even if the Texas Democrats fold and slink back to Austin (honestly, they don’t have much leverage), blue states are already eyeing retaliation.

California, New York, Illinois — they could all dust off the gerrymander machine to carve out extra Democratic seats. (Yes, some blue states handed map drawing to independent commissions, but power has a way of finding the crowbar it needs.)

This is mutually assured destruction with ballots instead of missiles.

And the kicker? After both sides squeeze every last seat out of their respective states, this whole exhausting mess could net Republicans one or two extra seats — or maybe none at all.

At this point, you might be wondering “How did we get here?”

I’m reminded of an old story — possibly true, probably apocryphal — about how circus elephants are trained.

When they’re babies (calves), elephants are chained to a stake they can’t pull up. They try and fail, and eventually they stop trying.

As adults, weighing several tons, they could walk away from the stake they are chained to at any time. But they don’t. They’ve learned the stake is “unbreakable.” Resistance is futile.

Trump is the elephant who never got that memo. To him, the stake — the norms, the Constitution, the institutions — is a suggestion, not a restraint.

The bigger problem? Everyone else has now seen Trump become unmoored from accountability — with impunity. They imagine they can do it, too.

Republicans who used to quietly admire their own prudent “restraint” now believe they just lacked imagination. And Democrats are starting to believe that playing nice equates to playing dead.

And so, the stakes are coming out of the ground everywhere.

We used to imagine there was an invisible line — one that politicians wouldn’t cross out of shame, duty or fear of the abyss.

Turns out, the abyss has a DJ and an open bar. The people hurtling toward it aren’t falling. They’re soaring.

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Matt K. Lewis is the author of “Filthy Rich Politicians” and “Too Dumb to Fail.”

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