ArcaMax

Dear Eric: I have a stressful job with coworkers that I think are nice but inept. My boss’s boss is his brother and there are a few other family members at the company, so it’s no surprise to me that people with no skills seem to have succeeded. After work, I like to blow off steam by recounting the latest idiocy to my wife. She agrees with ...Read more

Dear Eric: We are an empty-nester couple in our 50s. We entertain often, and in one group is a couple who have an adult child, W, who lives with them. This couple frequently asks if W is invited too. We always say yes. The problem is that W tends to put a significant damper on gatherings. They never engage in conversation, literally zero other ...Read more

Dear Eric: Our youngest child has worked only part time for the past two years, despite being a single mother to two children. At the same time her job situation deteriorated, my husband and I moved away from the city where we all had lived. Our daughter felt abandoned when we left, especially since my husband and I were babysitters, money ...Read more

Dear Eric: My husband died by his own hand more than 20 years ago. We had three kids younger than 15. I was devastated but I had to keep going to maintain some normalcy for them. I went back to school, got a job, sent kids to college, et cetera.

Then came a bombshell a few years ago. My youngest said I have never been there for her, that I only...Read more

Dear Eric: I have a first cousin that is a very good cook and likes to invite people over for dinner. She has a good job in the medical field. She is not overtly depressed. The problem is the housekeeping and upkeep of the kitchen.

Filthy doesn’t describe the full essence of the situation. There is hoarding, litter boxes that haven’t been ...Read more

Threadbare clothing causes embarrassment

Dear Eric: How much wear is too much wear on personal items? If I am even middle class, I'm clinging to the bottom rung by the tips of my fingers. I know work clothing must be clean and neat, free from stains and holes. But how much wiggle room is there for imperfections?

Some examples: I went to a ...Read more

Dear Eric: My parents got divorced when I was a toddler. Father remarried to a woman for about 15 years until another divorce. My relationship with the stepmother was unhealthy nearly the entire time they were married.

Now we usually exchange texts on Mother’s Day and birthdays. But otherwise, we have no real connection in a meaningful way.

...Read more

Dear Eric: My mother turns 100 soon. I have three siblings who live in the same city 450 miles away. I live close to and see my mom the most.

I queried my siblings about the most convenient date to celebrate our mother’s 100th birthday. I got feedback and I thought all had agreed to celebrate on her actual birthdate. Several weeks later I ...Read more

Dear Eric: I have never had patience for prejudice. I grew up in a household where it simply wasn’t practiced, and it wasn’t until I went to college in the 1980s that I realized some people harbor dislike for others without reason. To this day, I still don’t truly understand it.

I am quick to distance myself from anyone who openly ...Read more

Dear Eric: My longtime friend has a 39-year-old son who refuses to look for a job. His last job was seven years ago. His mother found the job for him, but his employer passed away. He is bright, likeable, talented, good-looking and in great shape.

His excuses, to name a few: his father died 18 years ago; he has sleep anxiety disorder so he ...Read more

Dear Eric: What should one consider if thinking about divorce? My spouse and I have been married for more than 40 years; the first 41 were very positive. We both worked so were not underfoot, were supportive and loving of each other and had many wonderful experiences.

Now over time in retirement, daily life has become unpleasant. We both had a...Read more

Dear Eric: I’ve recently started a new relationship with a man who has a very public job in our town. I’m more introverted naturally and I’ve found it really taxing to always be out and about, watching him schmooze with people as I slip into the wallpaper. Before we get more serious, I’m considering breaking it off. I’m not sure I have...Read more

Dear Eric: My husband and I are retired. We each have significant (and equivalent) retirement savings. We keep our finances separate, except for periodic deposits into a joint account that covers utilities, taxes, et cetera.

We decided to remodel our ’80s kitchen. The process has caused some huge arguments.

My husband is a cheapskate. He ...Read more

Dear Eric: My husband of more than 40 years left a note for me to come home to and was gone. It came as a huge surprise as every day he told me he loved me, up to the day before he left.

Our then-25-year-old son, too, was blindsided.

My husband ran to a recently widowed “friend.” It’s been five years. I have never heard from him again, ...Read more

Dear Eric: Recently I was dumped by my fiancée after dating for two years (no great loss according to my mother and friends). I noticed at work a young girl,18, just graduated from high school, who is cute and seems very nice. I am thinking of dating her, but my friends said she is too young – five years – and, as I have a four-year college...Read more

Dear Eric: Do I have to be friends with my friend’s other friends?

I have a good friend, D. Our sons are good friends, too, so we see each other often. D and her three friends have known each other for a really long time.

I didn’t really get close to them – I am fairly introverted. I never really liked one of D’s friends, E. She is a ...Read more

Dear Eric: About once a month a group of us from church go out to dinner. At our last dinner, I was sitting next to a woman I know casually. The day after this dinner, the woman complained to the person who organized the event that she had to go to the ER because of a reaction to what I ordered. Seems she is allergic to fish, which she knew, but...Read more

Dear Eric: My parents married as teens and had two children: me, and my younger sister, “Jodie." They divorced when I was two and I never saw my father again. My mother and her second husband were abusive to us.

As an adult, I have maintained as calm a life as I can, and I have a husband of more than 40 years, two wonderful children, and a ...Read more

Dear Eric: My husband and I have been living far from any of his relatives for several decades, and now we are contemplating moving to an area where many of his relatives live. They are generally pleasant and well-meaning people, and I mostly enjoy their company.

My husband’s relatives (immediate and extended family) are all Christians for ...Read more

Dear Eric: I’m a 58-year-old daughter to a 94-year-old father and an 83-year-old mother. I love my parents dearly, but we have had no contact for nearly a year. I know that at any time my father and/or mother could pass. This is the one stressor in my life – that I will lose one or both of my parents when we are at odds.

My mother and I are...Read more