ArcaMax

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Is there an etiquette prohibition against airing one's dirty laundry? And I mean literally -- as from the balcony of a historic hotel facing a beautiful public park!

Perhaps a swimsuit on a chair, or in an inner courtyard balcony, but what are these people thinking, displaying their underwear? Could a fellow traveler hint at ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Friends and strangers often say to me, "Your hair is really long." While this is better than "you look tired," it is still not exactly a compliment, so I don't feel right saying "thank you."

Is there anything more interesting to say than "yes, it is"?

GENTLE READER: There are many more interesting responses. But as you are ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: We were driving in a rural area with two grandkids in the back seat. One of them vomited.

We deemed the narrow shoulders of the state highway unsafe for a stop, so we made a right turn into the first available road. That road had no shoulder at all, so we turned again. What we thought was another rural road turned out to be ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am a college student at a small, private art school, and work part-time at the school's reception desk, receiving and directing phone calls and visitors. When dealing with rude and polite callers alike, I greet them with a pleasant tone and promptly answer their questions to the best of my ability.

What concerns me are the ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My summer internship went great and I've been hired! But I'm afraid I'm going to ruin it because my boss takes new hires out to lunch at her exclusive club. I had to buy a tie, which is fine, but I just know I'll use the wrong fork. Help!

GENTLE READER: Only if you promise never again to use that meaningless cliche about the ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I received a birthday card from a newish friend in the neighborhood. The card was unsolicited, though the giver had previously asked whether a party I was throwing had something to do with my birthday, and I admitted that it did happen to fall on that day.

The card had a few scratch-off lottery tickets in it. My family ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My in-laws are always asking for money or gifts.

One couple who had been living together for years -- divorced and married, employed, with a home, etc., asked for "cash only" gifts for a honeymoon for their second marriage to each other.

Another in-law asked for a piece of artwork I had created that was not monetarily ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I was in a store where an acquaintance of mine was making a scene, demanding a product that the store does not supply. She stormed out after a barrage of loud, foul language. As she left, she must have noticed me, but I was looking purposefully away.

This type of circumstance, while not the norm, certainly does arise. Is it ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I know the etiquette of the host paying for the event, not the guest. Which is great. However, in my wide circle of friends, we do things differently. We often eat potluck, though when one of us does provide the meal, we provide all of it at our own cost. Guest will usually bring wine to share, or maybe a homemade dessert if ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I accepted an invitation to a party for a friend's husband at their home. It hadn't occurred to me to bring a gift -- most likely I would have simply brought a nice card and a bottle of wine.

A few days before the party, I was surprised to receive this message: "Some of you have asked about gifts -- and truly, your presence ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: If I am late to a doctor's appointment, I may not get to see the doctor at all, but I will still be charged for having missed the appointment. But if I get there on time, I usually have to cool my heels for a long time -- sometimes for close to an hour -- before the doctor will see me.

Yes, I've complained. I get one of two ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am wondering what to say when I meet new people and they question my first name. I have always accepted whatever name someone calls himself, whether it's conventional like John or Steven or a nickname like Cookie, Corky, R.J. or Button.

I would consider it rude to ask the person what their "real" name is or what the ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: How does one politely respond to someone who hijacks a compliment about an item of jewelry and basically turns it into an appraisal?

When a guest asked me about my necklace, I responded that it is a Jerusalem cross, that the gems are opals and that it is a treasured gift from my mother from her recent trip to Jerusalem. My ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Men often do not have a tuxedo to throw on for a wedding. If they do, it is likely embarrassingly out of date. They often need to rent one for $200 to $400 -- if one is even available in their size, and it still might need alterations.

That is a lot for a guest! I chose to purchase an economical black suit to wear as a ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: A friend is wearing me out. She and I belong to the same church and social circles, and are close to the same age. When she couldn't drive herself to church and other events due to health problems, I took her with me.

I soon found out that she seldom has a positive word to say about anyone or anything. She starts complaining ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Some months ago, you asked your readers for a way of addressing strangers whose gender is not obvious, but I have not seen the answer. We need it, so as to keep from insulting unknown people when we need to get their attention and don't want to say "Hey, you."

Didn't anyone have any ideas? Did you give up?

GENTLE READER: No;...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: When I am sick, I need to rest and conserve my energy. I don't want visitors, as then I feel I have to host, perform and even offer food and drink when all I want to do is sleep.

I don't look presentable, and I shouldn't feel obligated to shave and shower to receive guests. I don't want them to see me in pajamas, unshaven, ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I'm 62 and have been divorced for 26 years. I've been dating the love of my life for 15 years -- we are obviously not in a hurry to tie the knot, though I did give her a beautiful engagement ring last summer.

My problem is my past history. A couple of times, in conversations with other people while my fiancee is present, I ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Our family is fortunate to have a beach house. The last couple years, we have allowed our boys, ages 15 and 13, to invite friends for a week to 10 days.

The first year, we didn't expect or ask for money to cover any of the friends' expenses. In one case, the family sent the child with no spending money whatsoever. We covered ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband met a very nice, like-minded neighbor during a walk, and we invited him and his wife over for dinner. Almost from the very beginning of the evening, his wife was very critical and rude and insisted on commenting on our home.

She claimed we had too much clutter, too many gallery walls, that our home was a mess, and ...Read more