While a lot of the advice I give revolves around how to get the first date, even more important is how to nail that first date.

Let’s take a look at some tips for the all-important first date:

What not to do on a first date:

1. Be late without notice

2. Be excessively late, with or without notice

3. Have your phone out or text excessively

4. Talk about your ex, positively or negatively

5. Talk about marriage (either your future one or what went wrong in your last one)

6. Be rude to a server… or anyone

7. Drink too much

8. Talk about work the entire time

9. Have bad breath/hygiene

10. Fail to tip well

11. Talk about yourself too much

12. Be fake or some false version of yourself

13. Flip the “off” switch if no attraction

The last point always gets some questions. Sometimes we walk into a date and know within a matter of minutes that there is no physical attraction whatsoever. I’m a big believer that attraction can grow, but in order to grow, there at least has to be a little seedling to start.

If there’s not, many people will just turn off, or no longer be present on the date. This means that you’re not only wasting your time but your date’s as well. Rather than deciding that this date is a failure at the get-go, instead, reframe your mind. Could this person teach you something? Could he or she be a business contact? When you frame things as, “What can I get out of this interaction?” then it’s a more pleasant experience for both of you.

What to do on a first date:

1. Confirm one day before the date (via text is A-OK)

2. Arrive on time

3. Wear clothes to match the venue

4. Put the phone away (Yes, away!)

5. Smile and remain positive

6. Ask questions to have a two-sided conversation

7. Most importantly… have fun!

One additional point about confirming a day before the date. Use the confident “Looking forward to seeing you tomorrow” vs. “Are we still on?” If someone is inclined to cancel, it won’t matter how you ask, so you might as well show your self-confidence.

Body language — how to increase the “flirt factor” on the date:

1. Face your date

Are your knees facing your date or turned away? The more you point them toward your date, the more likely you are into him/her, and vice versa.

2. Sit next to or kitty-corner rather than across

It’s much easier to have a more intimate and less business-like conversation this way.

3. Maintain eye contact

If you want someone to know you're truly listening, then make the appropriate eye contact.

What to talk about:

There are no right or wrong questions to ask on a date, but the ones that do better require more than a simple one-word answer. For example, “What made you passionate about medicine?” is more interesting than “What do you do?”

Some other ideas:

1. If you weren’t here right now, what would you be up to?

2. What made you decide to move to this area, and how do you like it?

3. (People love giving their opinions/advice, so let’s solicit it.) I was thinking about going to a new U.S. city this year. Any recommendations?

Remember that, in dating, there’s no perfect science… far from it. But using these pointers will at least get you on the right track… and potentially a second date!

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