As Neil Sedaka so beautifully and succinctly put it (in both boppy and ballad form… I personally prefer the latter!), breaking up is hard to do. Today, we have four questions, all revolving around breakups. They’re never easy, but with time, patience, and perspective, they can be manageable.

Q: How long does it take to get over a breakup?

A: Anywhere from one day to the rest of your life.

Breakups are so hard. I know. I could never answer this question. There are entirely too many variables, the number one variable being you. I would try to stay away from "shoulds," like "I should be over it by now," because it will just frustrate you. There's no rulebook for these things. And sometimes the shorter relationships actually take longer to get over because you feel that there is lost potential.

In this time, don't forget about yourself. Rediscover who you are and what makes you happy. Reconnect with your friends. Find a new hobby. Sometimes the most beautiful things can come out of a breakup, even though it's hard.

I would be doing everyone a disservice if I put an amount of time on it. Listen to yourself, and listen to your body, and when you start to feel curious about other people again, you can slowly put yourself out there again if you choose to.

Q: My ex boyfriend is already in another relationship and we just broke up. How I can move on?

A: Ugh! I understand how it feels when you find out that the person you just broke up with moves on. But, him being with someone else does not mean he is winning. Rather, it more likely means he didn't take the time to mourn your relationship, nor did he learn anything about himself before jumping into something else. This is not a race.

Also, I wish you didn't know this information. If you're still connected to him in some way, social media or otherwise, please cut that off so you can't stalk/compare/agonize. Do the things that you love again. See your friends. Do activities. Take a class. Journal.

I don't have any magic pills to make it easier, but you will get through this, I promise.

Q: How do I break up with my guy without breaking his heart?

A: Anytime we enter a relationship of any kind, we run the risk of both getting our own hearts broken and breaking someone else's heart. There is no way to break up with someone without doing that.

Here’s what I will say: Be kind and understanding, and let him say what he needs to also. Beyond that, I don't have any wise words to make things easier. But staying together longer than you know you should to prevent somebody else from getting hurt means you're breaking your own heart.

Q: How do I deal with the anxiety that a breakup could happen at any time?

A: You're right. It can happen anytime. Everything in life is at-will, which is a beautiful and empowering thing because you can also get out of situations you don't want to be in at any time.

But, when you're in a relationship, you have to look at the facts—how the relationship is going, how your communication is, how your partner shows up for you, etc.

You constantly worrying that someone is going to break up with you may actually impact that person's desire to be with you, because if you don't believe their love for you, it would be a lot of pressure for them to constantly prove it. Also, trust that you have the tools to cope if you do get broken up with. Make sure you have a wonderful support system in place.

So by worrying about it now, you're actually both impacting the present and double worrying, because you'll have to worry about it later if actually happens.

My advice? Try to enjoy your relationship for what it is. Right now. Also keep in mind that I am not a psychologist, and it might be worth chatting with someone about these feelings as well. I’m here for you.

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