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DEAR ABBY: My husband is going to be 70 next month. He is in good physical shape but has taken up smoking marijuana every day. He says he is addicted. I have told him how much I hate that he uses dope. He quits for a while and then goes back to it.

We have been married almost 50 years. I would be disappointed filing for divorce, but I am starting to think it's my only way out of a situation that has become increasingly frustrating. His doctor has told him it probably won't kill him. Seriously? What's your advice, Abby? -- POTHEAD'S WIFE IN ARIZONA

DEAR WIFE: Unless there are other reasons why you want out of your marriage, perhaps you should lighten up. Some people smoke marijuana to relax or to relieve tension, depression or even boredom. Do you know why your husband does it on a daily basis, and why you are bothered to the point you are considering divorce? Before talking to an attorney, you might benefit from attending a few Nar-Anon meetings to gain some insight. They're as near as your computer at nar-anon.org.

DEAR ABBY: I recently bought a new house. I was downsizing because my mother has passed away and my daughter went out of state to college. I invited my best friend and her son over. We have been best friends since junior high, and I love her dearly.

I actually bought my new furniture with weight considerations as a factor because she and her son weigh about 1,000 pounds combined. As they sat down, my friend joked about having broken other people's furniture in the past. Then there was an audible "crack" as they sat down on my couch. She just looked at me and made no comment.

Abby, I know friendship is more valuable than a couch, but she wants to bring more of her family over to visit. I simply can't afford to buy a $900 couch every few months. Can you please help? -- HESITANT HOSTESS

DEAR HOSTESS: Your friend should have offered to pay to have your new sofa repaired or replaced. That she heard the wood crack under the burden of their weight and said nothing speaks volumes to me. In the future, visit her at her home, but refrain from inviting her to visit or bring relatives to your home again.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have neighbors we are not interested in being friends with. We are a religious family and believe in God. They have a black ram's head hanging in their living room, if you catch my drift. They keep inviting us to events at their home or to spend time with them, and we don't know how to politely decline without making anyone angry. How do we keep our distance? -- STAYING AWAY IN NEW YORK

DEAR STAYING AWAY: Have you and your husband been accepting their invitations? If that's the case, start backing away by having "other plans." However, if they don't take the hint, begin sending them religious tracts from your denomination, and they may disappear in a puff of sulfur.

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Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send your name and mailing address, plus check or money order for $8 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Shipping and handling are included in the price.)

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