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Dear Annie: I'm 27 and recently moved back to my small hometown after nearly a decade away. I took a job here to be closer to my mom, who's recovering from a stroke. It's been an adjustment, but I'm managing. The problem is my former best friend, "Kelsey."

We were inseparable in high school but drifted apart during college. No falling out, just life. She reached out when I got back, which was nice, and we got coffee, but I realized we don't have much in common anymore. I've changed a lot, and our old dynamic -- where she dominates the conversation and I play the supportive sidekick -- snapped right back into place.

Since that coffee, she's been texting constantly and assuming we'll hang out like we used to. I feel guilty pulling away, especially since I'm new back in town and don't know many people yet. But I also don't want to fake a friendship just because it's familiar.

How do I let her know that I don't want to pick things back up the way they were without sounding cruel or self-important? -- Not That Girl Anymore

Dear Not That Girl: Some friendships grow with you, and some friendships you outgrow. It sounds like you've outgrown an old friendship, which is a completely natural part of growing up.

But it's also possible that you're writing her off too soon; after all, maybe she's changed, too. Rather than falling into your old patterns, why not invite her to do something that the NEW you enjoys and see if that improves your chemistry? If the dynamic shifts and you enjoy her company, great. If not, you'll know you gave it a fair shot. Let the friendship evolve -- or fade -- organically. You don't owe anyone your time, but you do owe yourself the space to grow.

Dear Annie: My dad recently remarried a woman named "Ellen," and while I want to be supportive, I'm having a hard time. My mom passed away five years ago, and Dad met Ellen less than a year ago. They married after only six months of dating. I'm 31, married with a toddler and live about an hour away from them.

Ellen is friendly, but she's also pushy. She calls me "sweetheart" and refers to herself as "Grandma" to my son, even though I haven't invited that title. She's tried to reorganize my kitchen when she visits and has made comments like, "Now that I'm part of the family, I'll help you get this place in shape." I've told my dad that I'm uncomfortable, but he brushes it off and says she just wants to help.

I don't want to cause tension, but I feel like boundaries are already being crossed. I barely know this woman, and I don't feel ready to treat her like a parent or let her play grandma just yet. How can I set limits without hurting my dad or starting a bigger rift? -- Not Ready for a New "Mom"

Dear Not Ready: As you, your dad and the rest of your family surely already know, no one will ever replace your mother. It's understandable that this transition feels fast and a little intrusive, and it's OK not to feel instantly connected to Ellen.

Start by recognizing Ellen's intentions may be good, even if her approach feels overwhelming. Then, calmly set boundaries with her. For example, you could say, "We're still deciding what family titles feel right for our son" and suggest an alternative name. You don't owe a lengthy explanation -- just honesty and consistency.

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Annie Lane's second anthology -- "How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?" featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation -- is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.