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Dear Annie: My daughter recently got engaged, and while I want to be happy for her, I have serious concerns about her fiance. He's moody and dismissive, and I've seen him speak to her in ways that feel demeaning. She brushes it off and says I'm being overly sensitive. I don't want to ruin our relationship, but I'm struggling to stay silent when I see red flags.

Do I speak up again or stay out of it and hope she figures it out on her own? -- Concerned Mom

Dear Concerned: It's incredibly difficult to watch someone you love commit to a relationship that raises red flags. Your instincts come from a place of love and protection, and your daughter is lucky to have someone who cares so deeply.

That said, there's a delicate balance between expressing concern and risking damage to your relationship. You've already voiced your worries, and she knows how you feel. Repeating them now may only push her further away and make her more defensive.

Instead, stay close. Be a steady, safe presence. Let her know you are always there to talk -- no judgment, no "I told you so," just open arms. If things unravel, she'll need someone she trusts to lean on. You can be that person by keeping the lines of communication open and full of compassion.

And remember, people often learn the most by living through their own experiences -- not by being told what to do.

Dear Annie: I am a college sophomore, and I am in a tough spot with my best friend. We have been close since freshman year. We do everything together, from late night study sessions to weekend coffee runs. But recently, things have started to feel strained, and I think I know why.

We both like the same guy.

He is in one of our classes, and we have all hung out as part of a larger group. He is funny, smart and easy to talk to. I have caught him making eye contact with me across the room and lingering in conversation when we are alone. I honestly thought there might be something there.

But then my best friend confided in me that she has a huge crush on him. She does not know how I feel, and now I do not know what to do. I want to be a supportive friend, but I also cannot ignore the feelings I have developed. I am afraid that if I tell her the truth, it will feel like a betrayal or damage our friendship.

Should I keep my feelings to myself and let her have a chance? Or should I be honest and risk hurting her? I have never been in a situation like this before, and I do not want to lose either of them. -- Torn Between Friendship and Feeling

Dear Friendship and Feeling: Liking the same person as your best friend is tough, but it happens more often than you think. You have not done anything wrong by having feelings, but what you do next matters.

Ask yourself what means more to you, your friendship or the possibility of something with this guy. If your feelings are strong and you believe he feels the same way, you might consider telling your friend gently and honestly. But if it is just a crush, it may be wiser to let it go and avoid tension.

Whatever you choose, lead with kindness, stay honest and protect what matters most.

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"How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?" is out now! Annie Lane's second anthology -- featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation -- is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.