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Dear Annie: I feel foolish even writing this, but I cannot tell if I am overreacting or if I have a real problem on my hands.

My best friend, "Dana," and I have been close for more than 20 years. We have raised our kids together, shared holidays, taken trips and weathered the usual storms of adult life. Lately, though, something has shifted. Whenever we are together, she is glued to her phone. Not just checking it occasionally, but scrolling, texting, laughing at messages and taking calls in the middle of our conversations.

Last week, we went out for dinner to celebrate her birthday. I spent more time watching her type than I did talking to her. When I finally said, "I feel like I'm third-wheeling with your phone," she brushed it off and said she was "multitasking." I tried to let it go, but it stung. I had planned a whole evening for her, and she barely looked up.

Here is the part that really bothers me. When I mentioned it again a few days later, she told me I was "too sensitive" and should "just relax." Annie, I am all for relaxing, but it is hard to feel close to someone who seems more interested in a screen than a human being sitting right in front of her.

Is this the new normal for friendships, or do I need to rethink mine? -- Feeling Second to Her Phone

Dear Feeling Second: You are not overreacting. Being ignored in favor of a screen is frustrating, and it is rude. Being on the phone may be "normal life" these days, but it should not take center stage when two friends are trying to connect.

You handled it kindly by bringing it up. Her dismissing your feelings is the real problem. A good friend listens when something hurts, even if they did not mean to cause it.

Try one simple, honest line: "I miss talking without interruptions." Say it calmly and let her respond. If she values the friendship, she will put the phone down. If she cannot manage that, you may be investing more than she is.

Dear Annie: Earlier this year, my family moved into a new neighborhood after decades in our old community. I arrived with so much optimism. The street was charming, the neighbors seemed warm, and there was this lovely sense that we had stepped into a place where people truly knew one another.

But as the months passed, the dynamic shifted. We've hosted small gatherings and always show up when someone needs a hand, yet invitations rarely come our way. My next-door neighbors chat happily with others on the block, but with us, it stops at polite hellos. The group text for the neighborhood was even more discouraging. I kept seeing photos of events and parties I hadn't known about until after they happened. It's as if everyone received an unspoken welcome packet except us.

I've tried to stay friendly and open. I've dropped off misdelivered packages, complimented people's gardens, asked about their kids' sports teams. Still, the more I reach out, the more self-conscious I feel, as though I'm pushing myself into a circle that doesn't quite want to expand.

Is this just part of adjusting to a new place? Am I imagining something that isn't really there? How do adults find real connection in a community without coming across as needy or overeager? -- Feeling Left Out on Maple

Dear Left Out: Moving to a new neighborhood can feel a bit like showing up to a party where everyone else already knows the inside jokes. It's lonely, and yes, it can sting, but take heart. Most long-established communities don't mean to exclude newcomers. They're simply moving along old, familiar grooves.

You've done all the right things: being warm, showing interest, extending invitations. That's gracious, and it hasn't gone unnoticed, even if no one has rushed over with a casserole. Sometimes it just takes one person, one real conversation, to shift everything.

For now, ease up on feeling like you have to win anyone over. Stay kind, stay open, and let these relationships develop at their own pace. Good neighbors aren't made overnight. And if anyone can soften a street full of routines, it sounds like you can.

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