ArcaMax

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am a freelance journalist who has been living, off and on, in the private room of a hostel off the beaten path. I love the place because it's gorgeous and usually has excellent vibes, but there are basically 15 of us keeping it in business. It is unfortunately quite close to a war zone.

Anyway, the most recent time I ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I think the reason that people think using "ma'am" or "sir" is offensive stems from the idea that you have to assume someone's gender identity in order to use them.

There are many people whose appearance doesn't match their identity. Assuming one knows that information based on looks, or even voice, can cause distress for ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am getting married in a traditional church ceremony. My father, who will be giving me away, has refused to wear a tuxedo on the grounds that it is a "monkey suit," even though all of the other men in the wedding party will be wearing one.

I gave in, because I want him to be happy and comfortable. Now he says he will not ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I got married recently. It is a second marriage for both of us, but our first weddings were two decades ago, and we wanted to have a special event that really felt like a wedding.

We paid for the whole thing ourselves. It was simple and relatively small, but it was definitely and unambiguously a wedding: We sent paper ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: What degree of formality is proper for a musician at an afternoon concert?

As a performer of a certain age, I have seen everything from tailored dresses to gowns glittering with beads and spangles -- and for men, anything from the most casual outfits to formal wear. Length of skirt no longer seems to matter, as the skimpiest ...Read more