ArcaMax

DEAR MISS MANNERS: There is a relatively nice person who works near me in a busy financial office. They are talented and smart, but they have an annoying habit of interjecting a constant stream of unsolicited advice and warnings about health into every single conversation.

They will warn me of the plastic in teabags as they watch me make a cup of tea, or the danger of using medical-grade masks to avoid viruses. They blurt out, "Milk -- instant inflammation!" as I put cream in my coffee.

They issue warnings of the dangers of tap water while I pour myself a glass, warnings about over-the-counter painkillers while I take one for a headache, and warnings about vaccines when I mention getting a COVID booster (gee, ever heard of tetanus or polio?). After a dental appointment, I got to hear about the hazardous chemicals used in modern dentistry. I have been told about the nanoparticles in every item ever manufactured, and the risks of every medication ever made.

The advice is not without merit, but it is constant, interruptive, unsolicited and negative. It's also become really annoying, and I'm contemplating avoiding this person.

They have made an educational journey to become a healer after retirement, and I can see how they might have some success because of their desire to help people. But not in the office, thank you. I wish they would save the warnings for their future paying clients.

What can I say in a short, humorous or simple way to stop this stream of warnings about every single move I make?

GENTLE READER: All right, here is your acting assignment:

At each warning, throw your arms up in an "I surrender" position, widen your eyes and say "UH-OH!" After you hold the pose for a minute, you can break into a smile.

Three such performances should do it. If your colleague is nice -- even "relatively nice" -- Miss Manners predicts that you will get a return smile and fewer warnings.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I was seated in front of two men at a hockey game, and every other word they said was the F-word. I wanted to say something, but wondered what would be the best way to address them.

I thought about saying something like, "Hey, you look like smart guys, but your vocabulary makes you sound less than intelligent."

Do you have a suggestion, or was ignoring them the route to take? That is what I did.

GENTLE READER: Thereby avoiding the likely response, which would be to F-off.

As offensive as that would be, Miss Manners cannot help seeing that it would come from a legitimate objection. First, that they were having a private conversation, even if you couldn't help overhearing it. And second, that it is rude, not to mention ineffective, to go around correcting strangers.

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(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, gentlereader@missmanners.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

Copyright 2025 Judith Martin

COPYRIGHT 2025 JUDITH MARTIN