Use Humor To Shoo Colleagues Out Of Office
DEAR MISS MANNERS: As part of my job as a news reporter, I spend a great deal of time on the telephone. The conversations I have require a lot of concentration. Often, I have been waiting all day to hear from someone and am up against a strict deadline when he or she finally calls. I must answer when the phone rings.
Many times, other members of the staff tend to congregate in my office and chat -- sometimes including me in the conversation, and other times just gathering and talking near the fax machine, which happens to be in my office. When the phone rings and I begin talking, my co-workers do not decrease the volume of their own conversations (which are not professional in nature) and do not leave the room. I am left stuttering on the phone and unable to focus on what I am hearing.
How should I handle this situation? Most of the time it is impossible to ask the person to hold on while I request that my co-workers keep it down. And unfortunately, my piercing glare hasn't been very successful in stopping the problem.
GENTLE READER: Make three signs that you can hold up when getting on the phone. The first reads, "Quiet, Please. Important Source." The second says, "Quiet, Please. Less Important Source, But Still Need to Hear." The last reads, "Quiet, Please. None of Your Business."
In addition to this -- but equally important -- Miss Manners recommends recruiting a fellow reporter or two who are willing to help shoo people out when the sign goes up.
These signs should be used in order -- and you can improvise after you've gone through the first three. But don't make too many. The idea is to amuse people enough to engage their sympathy as fellow reporters -- but not so much that they make a special trip to see what you'll think of next.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I like to entertain using vintage crystal glassware. But if the glasses are clinked together when doing a toast, they can easily break.
So how do I stop the table or crowd from doing what seems like such a natural, warm gesture?
I often find myself holding my breath and joining in, as I hate to kill joy at my own party, even at the expense of expensive crystal! Luckily, almost any piece can be replaced these days, but couldn't you find a way for me to save these gorgeous glasses and horrified guests?
GENTLE READER: If we use the crystal and, Miss Manners agrees, we cannot stop the toasting, the solution is to separate the two.
The key to doing this is multiple wines served at different stages of the meal that will, of necessity, require a switch of glassware. At whatever time toasts are likely to be made -- presumably towards the end of the meal -- put out the glassware you can sacrifice without tears. A hasty guest who tries to toast too early can be asked with a smile if they would not mind waiting. (Miss Manners realizes this solution presumes you are hosting a formal dinner party, but this seemed like a safe assumption.)
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(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, gentlereader@missmanners.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)
Copyright 2025 Judith Martin
COPYRIGHT 2025 JUDITH MARTIN













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