ArcaMax

Dear Anna,

My boyfriend of two years is extremely into optimization and data tracking — he logs every workout, tracks his macros, uses a smartwatch to monitor his sleep, and so on. I’ve always found it a little intense but mostly harmless, and honestly, his discipline is part of what attracted me to him in the first place. He motivates me ...Read more

A question that often comes up is, “How honest should I be when telling someone that I don’t want to see them again?”

My quick and easy answer is that, in the early stages, say four or fewer dates, the perfect level of honesty is that you “didn’t feel the connection you’re looking for” or “don’t see yourselves aligned long-...Read more

Dear Anna,

I just got back from spending Christmas with my boyfriend’s family for the first time, and I’m still reeling from how badly it went. His mom made multiple passive-aggressive comments about my job as a freelance graphic designer, his sister openly questioned why we’re not engaged yet after one-and-a-half years together, and his ...Read more

MINNEAPOLIS -- The dust cloud billows up behind your bumper whether you’re headed toward Katie Elvehjem’s farm or away from it. And on a Friday evening in spring 2024, Elvehjem was dreaming about leaving.

“I felt like driving 95 miles per hour down a road somewhere just to get out some steam,” she said. Her cows were calving, and that ...Read more

As someone who views hundreds or maybe even thousands of dating profiles per week, let’s just say that I’ve seen a lot of dating profile photos. Too many dating profile photos. So, I know a thing or two about a good photo. I know even more about a bad picture ... and how one seemingly deceptive photo can turn into a left swipe faster than ...Read more

Dear Anna,

I’m a 32-year-old woman and my boyfriend (35) of two years is furious with me because I won’t buy him a $750 Christmas gift. Earlier this year, he paid for my daughter’s dental emergency (around $500) and bought me an expensive piece of jewelry for my birthday ($600). (I didn’t ask for it.) He makes significantly more money ...Read more

Note that I do not take Urban Dictionary as gospel (I’d have problems if I did!), but when it comes to defining the word “dating,” the usually off-color site does a pretty good job. One of the (many!) definitions says,“…to be in the early stages of a relationship where they go out on dates to find out what each other is like, as a ...Read more

Dear Anna,

I’m stuck in an uncomfortable spot between two people I care about, and I don’t know how to handle it without blowing something up.

My partner and my closest friend recently got into a pretty heated argument. It wasn’t about our relationship or someone crossing some huge moral line — it was more a clash of personalities and ...Read more

Q: My extended family always asks me nosy questions around the holiday season. Is there a way I can tell them not to? And if that doesn’t work, what should I say when they ask? I really don’t want to talk about my love life with them. Thanks!

A: I get it. Even if they have the best intentions, it feels so personal, and often invasive, to be...Read more

Dear Readers: Since announcing my departure from writing this syndicated column, I have heard from scores of people across various platforms, thanking me for more than two decades of offering advice and wishing me well in my “retirement.” I am very touched and grateful for this outpouring of support.

The thing is – I don’t think of ...Read more