Life Advice
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Ask Anna: My boyfriend doesn't think I'm 'hot' -- how do I deal with that?
Dear Anna,
I’ve been dating my boyfriend for almost a year, and for the most part, things are great — we’re even talking about moving in together. But recently, during a conversation about past relationships, he admitted he doesn’t find me physically “beautiful.” He said he thinks I’m pretty and loves my personality, intelligence ...Read more
Single File: Marrieds -- A Close-up
Indulge me if you will, dear reader, and agree to take a test. (Nothing written. I promise.) Over the next few weeks, I want you to make a point of closely observing married couples -- your parents, friends, relatives -- being careful, of course, not to make them feel as if they're under a microscope. (That alone requires tact, so there may be ...Read more

Ask Dating Coach Erika: How do I not lose hope that I'll find the right person?
I understand how frustrating dating can feel sometimes, especially when you feel like you’ve been putting yourself out there over and over again. Feelings of frustration are valid.
My first question is this: Are you putting yourself out there in a productive way? Are you on two dating sites? (My recommendation is two, and if that feels ...Read more
Millennial Life: There Should Be Signs
There's a joke that goes, "I wouldn't tell anyone that I won the lottery, but there would be signs." Most recently, I told a friend that I'd buy her a vintage car that could park next to my brand-new-to-me DeLorean.
My fantasy of coming into money -- maybe through the lottery, or forgotten Bitcoin, or a long-lost magical trust fund -- always ...Read more

Ask Anna: My boyfriend's fitness comments are hurting my self-esteem
Dear Anna,
I've been dating my boyfriend for two months, and while he's incredibly kind and caring, I'm struggling with something that's making me feel insecure. He regularly makes comments like “we should go to the gym together” or “when are you going to start going to the gym?” He works out multiple times a week, follows fitness ...Read more
Single File: Turn the Tables
Let's celebrate your singleness in a new way, making the celebration a family affair. After all, the most telling show of your enhanced pride will be with your parents, those people of a different generation who do their very best to understand yours. They may not always fully "get" the message in your undependence, but in the end, their ...Read more

Ask Dating Coach Erika: What if my match doesn't ask me any questions?
It happens all the time. You match with someone online. You ask a thoughtful question about their profile, and they respond… with no questions about you back. You try again with a question. They respond with no questions back. Now what?
I want to introduce a concept called 2QS, or Two Questions and a Statement.
Here’s how it works: Give ...Read more
Our House, in the Middle of the Street
There was a running joke with my in-laws that a compliment on cooking would be, "Well, now you can get married." This started after I began collecting the most exotic peppers at my Mexican grocery store, names I had never even heard of before, and threw them together in a blender with boiling water, chicken bouillon, and some cross-border, ...Read more

Ask Anna: Why being inexperienced in bed is a good thing
Dear Anna,
I’m a late-bloomer lesbian — came out at 40, two years ago — and was lucky to have a gentle, affirming first relationship that made me feel safe and seen. She was kind and patient, and our physical connection felt beautifully balanced. Recently, though, I dated someone local who was much more experienced and, frankly, kind of ...Read more
Single File: Celebrate Your Singleness
You've done everything else with your singleness -- denied it, hid it, apologized for it, wished it away. Well, this is the moment to make a 180-degree spin and actually celebrate your single life! Maybe, just maybe, it's not so bad to actually control your finances, your time, your close circle of friends. When you think about your daily ...Read more

Ask Dating Coach Erika: What's the appropriate length of a date?
As a dating coach, I often get questions about the first date — the length, the venue, the method of parting … you name it. I thought I’d share a few gems this week:
Question: So I've been texting back and forth with this girl for a while now (kept having conflicting schedules), and we're finally getting to meet this Thursday. Can you ...Read more

At this grief summer camp, Colorado kids learn to mourn -- and swim, fish and climb
EMPIRE, Colo. — The Owls were ready to climb after spending a mid-July morning at a small fishing pond in the Rocky Mountains.
“My hands still smell like fish,” one of the Owls — an 11-year-old named Jackson Dana — said. He’d caught two that morning.
Jackson, fitted with a helmet and harness, ran off to the wall, but his twin Kacy ...Read more
Millennial Life: The Art of Nothing and Everything
I told him that heaven was this: the midmorning light, a beverage in hand, and us heading to the porch. The kids are at school. The chores can wait. Some mornings aren't about doing. They're about being. If you're lucky, you can be with someone who makes even your weirdness feel like it belongs.
This morning, I was on the porch with my husband....Read more
Single File: Agree or Disagree?
Just how bad is it to be without a mate? If you really want to know what's going on in your inner life, jump into the following and show yourself what you really think about this unmarried life by agreeing or disagreeing with these statements. (This is an equal-opportunity quiz; both genders are invited.)
--Being single means being alone and ...Read more

Ask Dating Coach Erika: Can I be happy single?
Back in 2019 (and for some reason it graced my mind today), the actress Emma Watson brought attention to singledom, not simply by saying that she is happily single but by naming herself as “self-partnered.” It not only acknowledges the fact that being single is a choice, which many people seem to forget, but it’s a valid one at that.
Too ...Read more

Ask Anna: Starting over -- dating with confidence after a long break
Dear Anna,
I recently got out of a long-term relationship — seven years, monogamous, talked-about-getting-married serious. I’m 34, and this is the first time I’ve been properly single since my mid-20s. It’s been a mix of freeing and terrifying. The dating scene feels like a completely different planet now — apps, situationships, ...Read more
Millennial Life: The Luck of Not Dying Today
I don't want to write today. There wasn't much to say after watching the horrors scrolling on my phone. Whatever I could try to shape into language feels inadequate against a video that rewires your nervous system.
It showed women and children waiting in line outside a clinic, and then they weren't. They were bombed. There was a bloody white ...Read more

Ask Amy: Exiting with some well-worn wisdom
Dear Readers: Since announcing my departure from writing this syndicated column, I have heard from scores of people across various platforms, thanking me for more than two decades of offering advice and wishing me well in my “retirement.” I am very touched and grateful for this outpouring of support.
The thing is – I don’t think of ...Read more
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