Life Advice
/Health
/ArcaMax
In Defense Of Call Waiting
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I'm no more a fan of call waiting than Miss Manners is, but I do want to defend its limited utility. I was co-owner and manager of a small business for several years, and I frequently had to act as receptionist by answering our office phone.
If I'm on the phone and call waiting sounds, I ask Party A to wait 15 seconds while I...Read more
Feeling Second Best to His Mother
Dear Annie: I'm struggling with my mother-in-law, "Linda," and it's starting to cause tension in my marriage. My husband, "Jake," is an only child, and they have always been very, very close. At first, I thought it was sweet, but I've come to realize that when Linda and I have a difference of opinion, Jake will always be Team Linda.
Last week...Read more
Husband's Retirement Is Off To A Rocky Start
DEAR ABBY: My husband retired three weeks ago, and he has been driving me crazy ever since. I'm a night owl, and he's known it since we met 10 years ago. Today, he told me he'd be playing golf with an old friend tomorrow at 8:30 a.m. at a course 45 minutes away and needed to get up at 6 a.m.
I asked if he could be extra quiet in the morning and...Read more
Single File: Men and Meltdown
Terrorized by the possibility of being pulled back into the mire of second-class personhood, women these days have put men on trial. It's not usually a conscious decision, more like a self-defensive reflex, and it masquerades as snide criticism, sharp-tongued retorts and guilt-inducing comments. Anything and everything to put him on the ...Read more

It costs nothing to be kind
Technology makes people flakier. It’s a sad truth. People can hide behind a screen without seeing someone else’s reaction to their words… or non-words, as is sometimes the case with ghosting. That’s not to say that all people are unreliable or flaky or rude, of course. In fact, most people are not. But the few who are set a negative tone...Read more

Asking Eric: Friend’s cheating ex moves into neighborhood with new wife
Dear Eric: For more than five years I have been having a single friend and her two kids over to dinner weekly. This started after her philandering, narcissistic husband, who had been having an affair while she was nearing term with a difficult pregnancy and hospitalized, left her for the other woman while my friend was on maternity leave with ...Read more
Soon-To-Be Parolee Wants To Reconnect With Family
DEAR HARRIETTE: I'm getting out of prison soon, and I'm worried about what comes next. When I left home, things were a bit rocky with my family. Some people have stayed in touch, and others created distance, but I wonder if there is space for reconciliation. I am truly sorry for any difficulty I have caused my family. How can my family and I ...Read more
Leave Music Choices To The Hosts
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am curious what the etiquette is at a gathering when music is playing in a friend's home on the voice-controlled device.
Is it OK for a guest to speak directly to the device to ask it to play a song?
GENTLE READER: Many of us remain skeptical of manufacturers' claims that if only we keep paying for upgrades, tomorrow's ...Read more
Need Ways To Support My Grieving Mother
Dear Annie: My mom, "Janet," lost her husband -- my dad -- almost three years ago after 45 years of marriage. Their relationship was strong, full of love, laughter and quiet routines. His death was sudden, and it shattered her world. Since then, she's been living alone in the house they shared, and despite gentle encouragement, she refuses to ...Read more
Girlfriend Tires Of Boorish Man's Wandering Eye
DEAR ABBY: I have been with my boyfriend for 3 1/2 years. Before me, he was known for sleeping around. He has never cheated on me that I am aware of, but when we go to social gatherings (or just out), he flirts with other women. If there is another woman in the room, he keeps his eyes on her like I can't see it happening.
When I told him ...Read more

Ask Anna: Why won't my girlfriend wear the jewelry I buy her?
Dear Anna,
I’ve been dating my girlfriend for almost 10 months now. I frequently buy her jewelry and sometimes clothing, but she never wears them when we're together. Sometimes I'll ask for photos of her wearing the pieces to see how they look, and she will send one, but I never see them in person. Is this a me problem? Why doesn't she ever ...Read more

Asking Eric: Mother-in-law thinks wife has duty to make dinner
Dear Eric: My son is married; his wife is the chief breadwinner. They keep their finances separate; he pays half of everything, even though it is a real stretch for him.
After she had the baby, she wanted to return to her "pre-baby weight," so she signed up for this expensive diet plan where all the food comes semi-premade in a box. My son has ...Read more
Colleague Is Overly Dedicated To Job
DEAR HARRIETTE: A woman at my job has been giving me hell. She works nonstop. She's often sending emails at 9 p.m. or 4 a.m. -- and she actually expects a response! Recently she chewed out one of my colleagues because she requested something at 6 a.m. and didn't hear back until 8 a.m., which is still outside of our normal business hours. It may ...Read more
Aggressive Tippers Overlook The Rules
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I work as an usher at a popular field house that hosts a large number of sporting and entertainment events (concerts, comedy shows, etc.). One of the rules is that we are not allowed to accept tips.
On occasion, a guest will offer a tip, usually for something I have done above and beyond simply helping them find their seat. ...Read more
Is It Rude To Recline Your Seat on an Airplane?
Dear Annie: On a recent cross-country flight, I had an uncomfortable experience that left me wondering about basic airplane etiquette. I was seated in coach, where space is already tight, when the person in front of me reclined their seat all the way back -- immediately after takeoff, without a word. Suddenly, my tray table was inches from my ...Read more
Best Friend Shares A Rumor That's Making The Rounds
DEAR ABBY: My best friend of 45 years and I are 65. She has been married since 1985; I have been divorced for many years. She recently shocked me by claiming that a mutual friend told her I have been having an affair with a married acquaintance! This is false, but I now wonder whether she said it because she suspects it herself.
When I got ...Read more

Asking Eric: After an affair, ex wants to tell former wife’s family the truth
Dear Eric: Many years ago, I was married to a woman who, after we divorced, admitted she cheated on me with a married man. She asked for forgiveness, and I took her back.
Nevertheless, it didn't work out and, fortunately, we didn't have kids, so it was easy to finally get out of the situation. I'm happily married now, and I hear she is too.
I ...Read more
Couple Has Different Views On Finances
DEAR HARRIETTE: I've been dating my boyfriend for over a year now, and we get along great in most areas. However, I've noticed that we have different approaches to money. I'm focused on saving, investing and planning for the future, while he prefers to live in the moment and spend freely. He likes to buy random infomercial items off of the ...Read more
Do You Mind?! I'm Chewing!
DEAR MISS MANNERS: From the files of "good manners run amok," is it ever impolite to be friendly?
I work in a bustling environment where my sole 30-minute break is in a shared break room, where I like to read or just eat quietly and enjoy the peacefulness. One colleague comes in daily to use the microwave and always announces her entrance with ...Read more
Beware of Medical Conditions Causing Personality Changes
Dear Annie: A few years ago, my husband -- always kind, patient and gentle throughout our nearly 40-year marriage -- began behaving in ways that shocked me. He became verbally cruel, aggressive, and would erupt in sudden fits of rage over seemingly nothing. It escalated to the point where he threw a plastic water bottle at me and threatened to...Read more