Employee Wants To End Things With Co-Worker
DEAR HARRIETTE: I made the mistake of getting involved with a co-worker. At first it seemed really harmless to me because we were accustomed to hanging out socially (mostly in groups after work). When he asked me on a date, it felt like a natural progression. After a few dates, we progressed some more. Things started off as a fun and casual hookup, and then I began to notice that he seemed like he wanted our co-workers to know. We didn't set those boundaries in advance, but it was an immediate turnoff for me. I told him we should keep things friendly and professional, as blurring the lines was getting uncomfortable for me. He conceded. But now he sometimes sends me inappropriate messages while we're at work. How do I end this? -- Bad Choice
DEAR BAD CHOICE: Invite him out for coffee or drinks, and tell him that while you enjoyed hanging out with him, that part of your friendship is over. Add that you do not appreciate him sending you inappropriate messages at work. Invite him to stay professional. You both are building your careers. Encourage him not to allow a moment of fun to distract either of you from your goals. After that, ignore any of his advances.
DEAR HARRIETTE: Please allow me to help letter writer "Sibling Disconnect" in their predicament with their much-younger sibling. My eldest sister and I are more than 10 years apart in age. Still, my sister played an active role in my life, though more in the roles of parent, mentor and protector than that of a sister. She took me to art galleries, museums, water parks, zoos and on countless picnics. She took me to "fancy" salons to get my hair styled -- 50-plus years later I still remember being treated like a princess on that outing. She bought me pretty dresses and encouraged a love of reading and of music. She gave me her time. She listened to my interests and encouraged them.
I was quite young when she moved out of our house, and when things got bad at home, she "rescued" me by offering me a safe haven in which to live. When she married and moved far away, we maintained contact.
Fast forward many decades, and my sister is now effectively a shut-in -- she prefers books to people and is a certified bibliophile -- and she is content with her life. She is on a fixed income, and I now send her "care packages" whenever I am able: I send her groceries, treats and gifts she enjoys (usually books, but sometimes journals in which to write, or office supplies, stamps, etc.).
I do these things out of an abundance of love and gratitude for my most amazing sister, who all those years ago took time to get to know her little sister. It is my hope that she gets as much joy from them as I did from all the kindnesses she showed me. My sister is my hero. "Disconnected" has the opportunity to be the same to her sister, and I hope she embraces the role, because she has an incredible opportunity to be the person who makes the difference in her young sister's life and formation. -- Grateful Younger Sibling
DEAR GRATEFUL YOUNGER SIBLING: Thank you for this powerful testimony to sisterhood.
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(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions toaskharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)
Copyright 2025, Harriette Cole
COPYRIGHT 2025 Andrews McMeel Syndication. This feature may not be reproduced or distributed electronically, in print or otherwise without the written permission of Andrews McMeel Syndication.
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