Roommates Step On Each Other's Toes While Working
DEAR HARRIETTE: I work from home, and my roommate does, too. At first, it wasn't a big deal; we thought we could share the space easily and just use headphones when we had meetings. Lately, our schedules have started to clash, and we both end up taking video calls at the same time. Since our apartment is small, there's no real privacy, and her voice often carries into my meetings. It's gotten to the point where I find myself distracted, missing key points and feeling embarrassed when my manager comments on the background noise. I've tried dropping hints, like mentioning how hectic it gets when we both talk at once, but she never seems to pick up on it. She tends to brush it off and say, "Yeah, it's just part of working from home," but I don't think she realizes how much it's impacting my performance.
I'm starting to feel frustrated, but I don't want to come across as controlling or make her feel like she can't do her job. How do I bring this up in a way that's direct but respectful? Should I suggest setting a shared schedule for meetings, or would that be overstepping? I value our friendship and our living situation, but something has to change before it starts affecting my work even more. -- Creating Structure
DEAR CREATING STRUCTURE: It sounds like you two need a practical solution to this problem. Remember: This issue could occur if you were in an office with a bank of desks and no door. What people in those situations do is to modulate their voices, speaking quietly enough to conduct meetings efficiently without overpowering the person sitting next to them.
Point out the obvious: You two are stepping on each other as you are doing your work. Suggest that you come up with a mutually beneficial plan that will help you both succeed. Start by agreeing to lower your voices. If you are able, come up with a general plan for when each of you will have video conferences or calls, and build them around time when the other might not also be on calls. Use a background image that keeps your environment neutral, and steal away to the bathroom or another corner of your apartment when you need a bit of privacy.
DEAR HARRIETTE: My boyfriend and I had a big argument, and now he won't answer my calls or texts. The blowup was about how he never makes time to listen to me when I have issues, though I am there for him. Naturally, his reaction of backing off rather than apologizing hurt me deeply.
I saw him the other day in the neighborhood hanging out with his friends. I walked up and said hello. At first, he was a bit cold, but then he acted like everything was normal. What should I read from that? -- Can't Read the Tea Leaves
DEAR CAN'T READ THE TEA LEAVES: Sounds like your boyfriend was friendly in person around friends, probably for show. He already showed you he's not there for you when you need him. Believe him and move on.
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(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions toaskharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)
Copyright 2025, Harriette Cole
COPYRIGHT 2025 Andrews McMeel Syndication. This feature may not be reproduced or distributed electronically, in print or otherwise without the written permission of Andrews McMeel Syndication.
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