Man Upset When Date Admits To Having A Girlfriend
DEAR HARRIETTE: A few months ago, I traveled home for winter break and went on a date with a former classmate. I was surprised when he asked me out, mainly because growing up, I was the only gay boy in my grade. To be honest, I really wasn't even that interested in him; I just wanted to see what this was about. Turns out, we get along well. He wasn't just trying to make a move -- he took me out to eat at a nice restaurant a few towns over, got me dessert and drove us to the beach to watch the waves afterward. It seemed amazing ... until I found out he has a girlfriend. I ended the date immediately and made him take me home. I want to tell his girlfriend, but I don't want to potentially out him, especially in the evangelical Midwest. What do you suggest I do? -- Picture Perfect
DEAR PICTURE PERFECT: You don't need to out him, but it might be worth having a frank conversation with him. Ask him what he was doing. Does he like men? What is going on inside of him to invite you on a romantic date when he is already in a relationship? What's not going right in his life for him to make that move? See if you can be a good listener and hear whatever is on his heart. You may be able to reflect back to him what you see.
You can absolutely recommend that if he is uncertain about his own sexuality, he should figure out that first. His girlfriend deserves to know who she's dating. Unless they signed up to be non-monogamous, she expects him to be fully committed to her. He should honor that.
DEAR HARRIETTE: Since going to college, I've felt a disconnect from my little sister. Growing up, I always wanted a sibling and was excited to be a big brother when my sister was born. Even though we're nine years apart, we were always close. She would often call me her best friend since I would babysit her when my mom was at work. My mom got her a phone so we could FaceTime when I went to college, but we don't talk that much due to how busy I am. I'm starting to feel guilty for going so far away for school, feeling like I'm missing out on moments back home. I know that it's my life and I need to do what's best for me and what will give me the most opportunities, but I feel like a terrible big brother. Do you have any advice for me on how to navigate our sibling relationship during this new chapter? -- Sibling Disconnect
DEAR SIBLING DISCONNECT: Life gets exciting and distracting when you move away and start college. Unfortunately, the people you leave behind often feel that separation. Use the technology your mother bought your sister and create a discipline of speaking once a week. Pick a time when you aren't busy, preferably the same time each week when you can give her your undivided attention. You will both grow to appreciate this shared moment.
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(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)
Copyright 2026, Harriette Cole
COPYRIGHT 2026 Andrews McMeel Syndication. This feature may not be reproduced or distributed electronically, in print or otherwise without the written permission of Andrews McMeel Syndication.
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