Our garden is always at its best in mid-winter when I nestle by a cozy fire and linger over seed catalogs. I have yet to plant a single seed into the ground, which is now granite.

As of Page 3 in the catalog that arrived two days ago, I have visions of deep red tomatoes piled high in bushel baskets. Page 10 adds pole beans gracefully winding around beautiful trellis structures. Page 13 gives birth to green peppers so gorgeous they should be on display in art museums.

I swoon at phrases like “disease-resistant” and “drought-tolerant.” I read the words “you’ll never be satisfied with grocery store again” and pump my fist in the air.

The herbs in my imaginary garden cover rolling hills (never mind that the backyard is flat) with thyme, rosemary, lavender and oregano. Waves of basil reach for the sun.

I drool over seed catalogs the way other women drool over jewelry. “Could I see these seeds under a magnifier, please?”

“Look! It’s a 14 carrot!”

In hopes of maintaining some connection with reality, I propose that seed catalogs come with a black box warning. "CAUTION: Seed catalogs may produce wild dreams, grand delusions and unrealistic expectations."

One of my favorite seed companies is offering the Martha Washington Kitchen Garden Seed Collection to commemorate the nation’s 250th anniversary. I’ve read several Washington biographies but apparently missed the parts about Martha gardening. I’m not quite able to picture Martha wandering about Mt. Vernon hoeing garden beds, planting seeds and pulling weeds.

My sources say George Washington oversaw most aspects of managing the grounds and there is “evidence that Martha Washington was involved in dictating what was planted in the kitchen garden.”

Ah, a kindred spirit. Dictating is my forte in gardening as well. “I’m only asking you to move this giant hydrangea (for the third time) because you’re a perfectionist and I know you want the spacing right. I’m doing this for you, Honey!”

The seed names are mesmerizing. They are descriptive on par with women’s cosmetics. Martha’s seed collection offers “Blue Curled Scotch Kale,” which is puzzling and captivating all at the same time. “Amish Deer Tongue Lettuce” is perplexing. Was the lettuce a favorite of Amish deer, or does the lettuce taste like the tongue of an Amish deer?

“Armenian Cucumber” hints of theological disputes sure to kick dirt in any garden bed. I added “Early Scarlet Globe radish to my cart without even looking at the picture. On the other hand, “Georgia Rattlesnake Watermelon” was a hard pass.

Many gardens are at their peak in the dead of winter. For when the ground is frozen and the air is frigid, imagination grows wild.

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