Life Advice
/Health

Asking Eric: Wheelchair user gets no sympathy from caregiver
Dear Eric: I am 40 and physically disabled. I need a powered wheelchair to get around
both outside and inside my apartment. Recently, my tires were popped by some broken glass from a bottle thrown out of a passing car onto the sidewalk. It has been a week since I have been able to use my wheelchair, and I have another 20 days before my new ...Read more

Asking Eric: Relatives leave gifts but don't come inside to visit
Dear Eric: My sister and brother-in-law live a couple of hours away. My wife and I get along with them but are not close, and we try to make an effort to see them when we are nearby (a couple times a year). We have a pre-school-age child, while they do not have kids. They are kind and generous to our child when they see him and bring him gifts ...Read more

Asking Eric: New friend's cooking turns the stomach
Dear Eric: A relatively new friend has invited me to a third dinner at her home, and I do not want to attend. Her first two meals were simply not well-prepared and not good.
One meal included fish that had an unappetizing odor as she fried it and also had an unpleasant "off" taste when I tried to eat it. She also served barely warm, bland ...Read more

Asking Eric: Adult children object to parents' burial plans.
Dear Eric: I am very much enjoying the second time around following a long and less than joyful first marriage.
My problem is plans for burial.
All of our children are terribly against our marriage even though both of our spouses were deceased at the time we met.
Our children have virtually no relationship with us now and if there is any ...Read more

Asking Eric: Minimalist daughter doesn’t want any family heirlooms
Dear Eric: My 31-year-old daughter, Lauren, is relocating to California and taking only what fits in her car. She’s embracing a minimalist lifestyle and recently told me there’s nothing she wants me to pass down to her. I’ll admit I was shocked. She’s the youngest in my bloodline, and I always imagined certain heirlooms or sentimental ...Read more

Asking Eric: After ugly comments, brother invites himself to party
Dear Eric: Nearly eight months ago, my 81-year-old brother lashed out saying hateful and hurtful things about our youngest sister. At the time, I suspected he was drunk and probably frustrated from the repeated episodes of our sister's illnesses and problems, some of which have been caused by her own serious eating disorder, depression and ...Read more

Asking Eric: Friend’s dog not welcome in the pool
Dear Eric: Can you offer any advice about a good friend who lets her dog jump in my pool? I have an inground vinyl liner pool so one concern is the dog could damage the liner with its nails or teeth. And my friend does not have the funds to replace the liner if it were damaged, nor would she probably offer.
Her dog chewed apart one of my pool ...Read more

Asking Eric: After a rift and a breakdown, sister-in-law wants to rebuild relationship
Dear Eric: I'm close friends with one of my sisters-in-law but not the other, Betty. Betty and I used to be close until jealousy came between us. She was jealous that her brother and I were the first to get married, have kids and reach other milestones. She is also very sensitive, so I've felt like I need to walk on eggshells, especially after ...Read more

Asking Eric: Mother can’t accept daughter’s unambitious husband
Dear Eric: My kiddo is hardworking, makes friends everywhere and is working on her
third advanced degree. She is also working full time and volunteers at a shelter and her professional organization. She owns her house. My problem is her husband. He is not good enough for her.
He has also been working on an advanced degree that took him five ...Read more

Asking Eric: New boyfriend comes with a warning from his sister-in-law
Dear Eric: I am a 55-year-old single female. I often get asked out on dates with men that I am not interested in. I recently met a man, and we have been going on great dates. I really enjoyed hanging out with him until his sister-in-law came to me and said things like, “don't like him; don't catch feelings for him. Just have fun with him and ...Read more

Asking Eric: Mother unsure whether to contact estranged son on deathbed
Dear Eric: Five years ago, on Mother’s Day, my adult son suddenly cut me out of his life. He told me he no longer wanted contact because he didn’t like the way he was raised and considered me a negative presence. I didn’t agree with his reasons, but I respected his choice. I’ve honored his no-contact request ever since.
I’ve never ...Read more

Asking Eric: Husband’s hygiene causes big stink in marriage
Dear Eric: I’ve been married for a few decades to someone who lacks self-awareness about the impact of his choice not to shower for several days, sometimes more than a week. He doesn’t even shower after he works out/runs. He also wears the same underwear for days at a time.
When I tell him he smells he says he can’t smell anything. ...Read more

Asking Eric: Longtime friends ignore friend’s daughter’s wedding
Dear Eric: My daughter got married a year ago and decided to have a wedding with immediate family members only due to the huge family on the groom's side (the wedding was still about 100 people). It was planned on the West Coast (we are on the East Coast).
Some of my friends sent them a gift, knowing why they were not invited but three of my ...Read more

Asking Eric: Husband and wife divided over estranged stepchildren’s inheritance
Dear Eric: My husband and I just turned 80. We are in good health but began talking about estate planning. We each have two children from previous marriages, and at first this was an easy fix. After considering donating to nonprofits, we thought the rest of our assets would be equally divided among our children.
Now, the situation: Although my ...Read more

Asking Eric: Labor Day wedding too much work for out-of-state aunt
Dear Eric: One of my two daughters is getting married in a very small ceremony in August. It so happens to be on Labor Day weekend. Her sister and her fiancé's sister are planning a brunch the following day to celebrate this union.
My own sister lives in Florida. When I emailed her (and our brothers) about this event, she responded immediately...Read more

Asking Eric: Joint family birthday party puts burden on one side only
Dear Eric: My son will soon be turning 13, as will my niece. They were born a week apart. I usually host a family pool party for my son's birthday, but my brother and his wife do not arrange a family party for their daughter. (They also have a nice yard with a pool.).
Instead, they have a party for her and her friends without inviting family. ...Read more

Asking Eric: Religious leader’s speaking obscures message
Dear Eric: The president of my religious institution is, in my view, a fine leader and a rotten speaker.
I have participated in a number of meetings he has led and am driven crazy by the number of instances of "you know," "kind of" and asking "right?" in the middle of a statement. His speech is riddled with these. In the most recent gathering, ...Read more

Asking Eric: In-law’s handmade gift caused years-long rift
Dear Eric: My sister-in-law made quilts for two of her nieces. They unwrapped them to oohs, aahs and applause on Christmas Eve at my house. My daughter did not receive a gift. I sent a polite email to sister-in-law explaining that my daughter was disappointed. I received a snail mail reply that included a gift certificate and a note. Sister-in-...Read more

Asking Eric: Brother’s drunken phone calls have become a burden
Dear Eric: My younger brother "Mick" has been a heavy beer drinker for at least three decades with a high-stress career.
When he retired, his drinking escalated. He received a DUI which resulted in court-ordered mandatory visits at a local AA meeting for one year. The court also had a blow-and-go breathalyzer installed in his truck for three ...Read more

Asking Eric: New friend seems uncomfortable about introducing his partner
Dear Eric: I'm a happily married woman who talks to a gay guy that frequently walks in my neighborhood. We have so much in common. I recently gave him some plants from my garden, and we've texted a bit. Simply put, I enjoy his company. He seems receptive to starting a friendship with me. He said I could stop by his house sometime to chat. I ...Read more