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Dear Annie: I'm a divorced woman in my late 40s with a child in college, and for the past 2 1/2 years, I've been in a wonderful, loving relationship with a man I'll call "Matt." He and his sister, "Martha," are extremely close -- so close they call themselves "Irish twins." Since she lives far away, I've only met her a couple of times, but let's just say she didn't leave the best first impression. She was short-tempered and downright rude to their elderly mother, a lovely woman with whom I bonded over our shared love of antiquing.

Several months ago, their mother passed away, and when it came time to handle her estate, Matt asked for my help. I happily lent my expertise, researching values and auction houses that ultimately brought in a five-figure profit. Last week, we traveled to his hometown to complete the final clean-out of the house, and I once again rolled up my sleeves, making charity shop runs and sorting through keepsakes.

That's when Martha's true colors really came out. She openly mocked my expertise, sneered at my opinions, and called me a "trash picker." Matt, on the other hand, told me I could take whatever I wanted from the donation pile, and I found a few sentimental jewelry pieces that I will always cherish. But later, I overheard Martha calling me "greedy" in a tone dripping with disdain. When I brought it up to Matt, he waffled -- maybe I misheard? Maybe she was just tired? I decided to let it go. After all, she's grieving. But I know what I heard.

Then came the kicker. On our last night in town, Martha cheerfully announced that she's planning a big family trip for spring break -- her family, Matt and me, and Matt's kids -- all under one roof for a week. I DON'T WANT TO GO! Martha is mean, and I have zero desire to play happy family with her. But Matt thinks this is a golden opportunity for his "two favorite girls" to bond. I seriously doubt that's going to happen, but I don't want to cause unnecessary drama either.

Would it be best to just say, "Maybe next time" and keep the peace? Or do I need to be honest about my feelings? -- Terrible Twin

Dear Terrible Twin: You don't have to spend a week trapped in a house with someone who openly mocks you. Martha has made it clear she doesn't respect you, and Matt's reluctance to acknowledge that is concerning.

A polite "maybe next time" is an easy out, but be prepared for future invitations. At some point, you'll need to set boundaries -- not just with Martha but also with Matt, who should be standing up for you. If he truly wants you and his sister to bond, he needs to recognize that respect is a two-way street.

Trust your instincts. If you don't want to go, don't. No explanation required.

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"How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?" is out now! Annie Lane's second anthology -- featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation -- is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.