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DEAR MISS MANNERS: I had a birthday party for my 8-year-old son at a trampoline park. The party package requires an exact headcount, and charges a rather steep fee per child.

Along with my son's friends, we invited some of their siblings, whom we are close with. A parent I'd never met showed up with her son, who'd been invited, and her middle school-aged daughter, who was uninvited and unknown to us. She announced that her daughter would be "jumping too," that she had asked the staff and "they have enough wristbands," and after all, "I drove here."

I openly gasped in response, truly shocked by the gall of her pronouncement. My husband interjected with a polite, "It's fine."

I then made a point of asking her, in front of the other parents, what her and her daughter's names were, in a futile attempt to shame her and show the other parents what she was doing. The daughter participated in all parts of the party, expecting a goodie bag, cake, pizza, etc. I ended up not giving a goodie bag to a baby (the invited sibling of a guest) so that I could give it to the random daughter instead -- to which the mother said, "See, they had an extra!" while smiling and nodding at her daughter.

GENTLE READER: Sure, this woman was rude. But your attempts to shame her did not produce the effect you desired, since A. she is shameless, and B. if other children at the party had siblings there, the parents probably did not know the difference between who was invited and who was not. Your husband did the right thing by politely letting it go.

And for what it is worth, Miss Manners is pretty sure that the baby did not miss that goodie bag.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I misdialed my phone in an attempt to call my husband. As soon as I heard the voicemail answer, I realized my mistake and hung up.

Several hours later, the person I'd accidentally called returned the call, saying that someone from this number had called him. I told him I had done so by accident, and that was why I hadn't left a message.

I see my own adult kids do this all the time. They will see that they missed a call on their phone and then call that number back, not even knowing who it is. This seems very odd to me. I don't understand why you would return a call to someone who did not leave you a message.

Can you please clarify the appropriate response to a missed call with no message left? Conversely, should I have left a message to the misdialed number in the first place? This has happened to me a couple of times and I would like to know the polite way to handle it.

GENTLE READER: Pretend it never happened. None of the subsequent calls are worth having. And this also works, Miss Manners finds, when someone you do know calls and does not leave a message -- but you do not care to speak with them.

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(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, gentlereader@missmanners.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

Copyright 2026 Judith Martin

COPYRIGHT 2026 JUDITH MARTIN