Concert Venue Didn't Force You Into A Fight, Buddy
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I was watching one of my all-time favorite bands with my wife. Suddenly, halfway through the show, the venue announcer told the crowd behind us to fill the empty seats in the amphitheater. I did not have a problem with that, although I paid double to get our seats compared what general admission paid.
A drunk man and woman sudden plopped right in front of us, standing up and dancing so that we could not see. I complained to the staff, and they ignored my pleas to do something.
Well, I am not one to let someone abuse me and my wife, so I stood up and confronted him. (Once again, I paid for this access, and was being denied my right to enjoy the concert.) So I pushed him, he threw a drink on me and the fight was ON. Worst concert experience in my life. I will never go back.
As a side note, the venue served no food, but had loads of beer and liquor to choose from, which only adds to citizenry showing their rears due to inappropriate inebriation.
GENTLE READER: And your question is ...?
Bad behavior here was rampant. But somehow you want to put the brunt of the blame on the venue. Yes, they could have done things differently. But not supplying food and asking patrons to fill in empty seats does not condone or enable pushing, drink-throwing or rear-showing. Miss Manners will ask you to look inward, as it were, for your contribution to that.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have a name that's an obvious nickname -- think Maggie, short for Margaret. I had my name legally changed to "Maggie" because I hate "Margaret."
Often, after introducing myself as Maggie, I'm told that someone has a girlfriend or family member named Margaret. The comment always makes me feel awkward, and I am uncertain how to politely respond.
I can't very well say, "Well, I hate that name! I had my name legally changed for that reason!" But it also feels futile to just say, "Oh, how nice," with a smile, although that's generally the path I take. Doing so heavily implies (doesn't it?) that I hate Margaret, for why else would I have rejected the name myself?
But I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. For the life of me, I can't think of a proper polite response. You can't pay me to say, "Oh, how lovely that your girlfriend is named Margaret! That was my beloved birthname!"
Is there a tactful way to handle this scenario? Similarly, what should I do if I meet someone whose name is, in fact, Margaret? Am I overthinking this?
GENTLE READER: Well, there is certainly no need to go around outing yourself to other Margarets. That will only solicit comparisons -- the very thing from which Miss Manners thought you were running.
A simple, "Oh, yes they are similar, aren't they?" -- as if this is the first time you've thought of it -- is sufficient. Explanations, family history and any other grievances or grudges are entirely superfluous. They are also, as you say, insulting to the Margarets who choose to endure.
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(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, gentlereader@missmanners.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)
Copyright 2026 Judith Martin
COPYRIGHT 2026 JUDITH MARTIN
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