Q: My child comes home from her other parent's house with stories that sound absolutely ridiculous. I don't want to dismiss what she tells me, but I also don't know what's true, what's exaggerated and what might be made-up. How am I supposed to sort through that without overreacting? What's good ex-etiquette here?

A: When children live in two homes, they become narrators. They move between two worlds, carrying pieces of each one back and forth. Sometimes what they bring is useful information. Sometimes its emotion wrapped in story form. And sometimes it's simply their attempt to make sense of something that felt confusing or uncomfortable. Your job is not to decide whether your child is lying. Your job is to decide what your child is experiencing.

The key in this case is that you know the stories sound "ridiculous." So, I get the impression you are not concerned about abuse of some sort; instead, you are trying to sort fact from fiction. Children rarely invent stories for sport. They exaggerate when they don't yet have the language for what they feel. They distort details when they're overwhelmed. They simplify when the truth feels too complicated to hold. They fill in the blanks when they don't fully understand.

That's why good ex-etiquette begins with curiosity, not correction and certainly not accusations. Instead of responding with disbelief, "That can't be true." Try inviting more information: "That sounds upsetting. Tell me what made it feel that way." Or even just, "Wow, tell me more." Or, "What was the hardest part about that for you?"

You're not fact-checking in that moment. You're listening for impact. Once you understand how the experience landed for your child emotionally, that's when you evaluate whether it signals a real concern. Patterns matter more than isolated stories. Fear matters more than facts. A child who occasionally tells odd or dramatic tales is normal. A child who repeatedly comes home confused, distressed or uneasy deserves closer attention.

This is also where restraint becomes your ally. Calling the other parent every time your child reports something strange turns your child into a courier of conflict. They learn quickly that their words create waves, and soon they start editing, amplifying, or withholding based on how much reaction they get.

Practicing good ex-etiquette protects your child from becoming a messenger. When something truly needs clarification, approach your co-parent with neutrality: "She mentioned something that left her pretty unsettled. I'm not looking to accuse, I just want to understand what happened. Do you have any insight?"

That tone keeps the focus where it belongs: on the child's well-being, not on who's right.

The truth is, you will never have a full window into the other home. What is needed is a steady way of separating story from stress. The goal is to build a co-parenting environment where you can talk calmly to your co-parent about what your child is reporting. Listen first for the feeling behind the story, then reach out to the other parent for simple clarification.

Never discount what your child says. They may understand that something is not right and are not able to articulate it. Watch for patterns, make note of concerns when needed, and resist the urge to rush to conclusions. That balance is good ex-etiquette.

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