ArcaMax

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a Caribbean American; both of my parents have backgrounds in the West Indies. Although my mother was born in America, her Caribbean culture was influential to my upbringing and formative years. My father was born and raised in the Caribbean. I frequently spent extended periods of time on his home island. Although I was ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I realize it's an unpleasant world with unpleasant people who are going to say unpleasant things. But sometimes, you have to get down on their level in order for them to get the message.

For instance, in cases where a stranger calls someone fat, that person could give an equally rude response, such as: "Yeah? Well, you're ...Read more

Dear Readers: Presidents Day isn't the flashiest holiday. There are no fireworks, no heart-shaped chocolates, no songs you can't escape in the grocery store. It tends to arrive with a shrug, a long weekend and a mysterious sale on mattresses.

But I've always liked it for what it can quietly be: a reminder to think about character.

Not the ...Read more

DEAR ABBY: I work in a place where being friendly to customers is part of my job requirement, but I feel like many guys interpret this the wrong way. It seems I am a "jerk attractor," and I don't know how to make it stop. The worst of these jerks can't take a hint that I'm not interested. One of them is a co-worker who sexually harasses me all ...Read more

It was the twirling end of the mustache I noticed first, before I realized he looked familiar. This was not unexpected, as I had been sitting in the Utilities boardroom for a few years, even before I was elected. When I interviewed him for a story about his time at Utilities, he was still new to his role; now he's the second-in-command at the ...Read more

Dear Annie: From the outside, my life looks like the kind of "before" photo people put in gratitude journals. I have a husband who is genuinely kind, kids who still call and actually want to tell me about their days, and a steady job that pays the bills and even gives me a sense of purpose. Friends tell me I'm lucky, and I know they mean it. I...Read more

DEAR ABBY: I have been dating "Rita" for four months. We peck on the lips, hug and hold hands, but we have had only one real kiss so far. Rita was first married for 22 years to an emotionally abusive man and then remarried to a manipulative one. She said we were going too fast and she wanted to slow down. I understood and have exerted no ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: Yes, it's Valentine's Day, but I don't like to buy into it. Expectations seem ridiculously high for this manufactured holiday.

I have a relatively new girlfriend. I like her a lot, but I'm not into this day. I have told her as much, and she seems disappointed. I absolutely hate that I become the bad guy if I don't want to bow to...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am a widow with many acquaintances and activities. I am physically and verbally affectionate with family members and close friends, and am generous with hugs and "I love yous."

A gentleman friend and I have become close, and feel affection for each other. But since we are both averse to a serious relationship, the words "I ...Read more

Dear Readers,

Valentine's Day has a funny way of making people take attendance of who remembered the holiday, who didn't, who has plans, who pretends they do, who smiles at the grocery store display of roses and who speeds past it like it might ask a personal question.

If today feels joyful for you, wonderful. Enjoy every bit of it. If today...Read more

DEAR ABBY: A good friend of mine, "Louis," has big problems. He is in his 60s, and although he's 50% disabled, he can still work custodial jobs. His sister, "Gayle," who lives 500 miles away, asked him to move in with her and her husband, saying they would help take care of him.

Louis moved, not realizing his sister was a severe alcoholic. She'...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently took out loans so I could go on a vacation. I know that sounds financially irresponsible, but I hadn't gone anywhere in 10 years. I work paycheck to paycheck, and I needed a break from working all the time. For a moment, the trip made me feel human again, rested in a way I haven't felt in years. Now that I'm home, ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Lately, I find that whenever I schedule even the most mundane of appointments, I am endlessly nagged by correspondence from the host: "Please confirm Lady Tuna's rabies booster appointment," or "Are you still planning to attend our Needle-Felting Calico Cats class at the library?"

Such repetitive messages arrive by post, text...Read more

Dear Annie: I've been friends with the same group of women since our children were in grade school. We're now in our late 50s and early 60s, and for years this group has been my main social circle. We've shared weddings, divorces, illnesses and losses. I will always value them for that.

Lately, though, I find myself dreading our get-togethers...Read more

DEAR ABBY: I have been married 50 years and recently remembered that my husband cheated on me with several different women. He admitted to one affair but swears he saw her only twice and they had sex only once. He says I'm imagining the other two. He hasn't apologized for the one he admitted to and refuses to discuss it or the other two, though ...Read more