Life Advice
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Asking Eric: Messy housemate gives host silent treatment
Dear Eric: I allowed the daughter of a cousin, with whom I am not close, to move in with me while she finishes college. When she moved in last January it was supposed to be for a semester, but this is the longest semester I have ever seen.
We had an incident where she left gobs of hair all over my bathroom, which I had to clean up. I told her ...Read more
Co-Worker's Personal Struggles Impacting Her Job
DEAR HARRIETTE: One of my co-workers has had a lot of personal stuff on her plate lately. I am always an advocate for work-life balance, because no matter what, you should always take care of yourself (mentally, physically, spiritually, personally -- whatever that looks like). Normally, she goes above and beyond for the team, so I wanted to ...Read more
Does Holding Hands Negate Washing Them?
DEAR MISS MANNERS: At several gatherings with friends and family, the food is blessed by holding hands during a prayer -- after I have already washed mine in preparation for eating.
Holding hands defeats the purpose of washing them, but I don't know how to avoid it during the prayer. Refraining from holding hands, or immediately rewashing right...Read more
Grateful Today and Always
Dear Readers: Thanksgiving has a way of sneaking up on us, doesn't it? One minute we're rushing through the year, taking the kids to games and meeting deadlines, and the next we're standing over turkey and wondering how the year flew by so fast. But beneath the noise of the dinner table and all the pie crusts, this day gives us something rare:...Read more
Husband Invites Son To Be A Third Wheel On Couple's Trip
DEAR ABBY: My husband and I married 20 years ago. We have a blended family of eight kids, but it's just us now. Our kids are scattered across the country. Over all these 20 years, we have never taken a vacation just for us. We have always visited family.
Now, after scrimping, saving and planning, our dream trip is finally happening. We are ...Read more
Single File: Core Questions (Part 2)
All right, moving right along to continue the findings of that exploratory survey you began last time here in "Single File":
--Do you expect to have sex on the first date? (About 76 percent of women said no; 6.7 percent said yes; 13.8 percent said sometimes. As for men, 15.1 percent said yes; 75.6 percent said no; 9.3 percent said sometimes.)
...Read more
Asking Eric: Baking favor leads to salty feelings
Dear Eric: My daughter-in-law's mother asked my girlfriend to make a dessert for another daughter's bridal shower. My girlfriend made a tray of lemon bars, so it wasn't a huge undertaking for her.
The issue is that my girlfriend was not invited to the shower. She never charges people for when she makes desserts since she loves to bake. Are we ...Read more
Body-Shaming Comments Hurt Friendship
DEAR HARRIETTE: My friend has always made comments about my weight, saying that I'm too skinny and that I should eat more. At first, I tried to laugh it off or change the subject, but over time, it started to really bother me. I have felt self-conscious and frustrated, but I didn't know how to tell her how hurtful her remarks were.
I'm not sure...Read more
Open Floor Plan A Little Too Open
DEAR MISS MANNERS: My home has an open floor plan with the kitchen, living room and dining area all combined. This leads to guests meandering through the kitchen area while we're preparing food.
No approach I have used has been successful to deter this. How do I approach my dear aunt at Thanksgiving, who is a repeat offender? She hovers over ...Read more
When Passion Meets Paycheck
Dear Annie: I'm writing about my sister, "Claire," who seems to be living two completely different lives. By day, she's a high-powered attorney, wearing tailored suits and commanding boardrooms. But on weekends, she disappears to a tiny town in Michigan, where she rents a cabin and paints. None of her colleagues know about her art, and she ...Read more
Son Invites His Rapist Father To Wedding
DEAR ABBY: My child "Logan" is the product of a sexual assault. He has located his father and formed a relationship with him. Logan didn't know the circumstances of his conception at the time he contacted his father. He has now been made fully aware by our family as to what occurred.
Abby, Logan has invited this person to his wedding. I do not ...Read more
Ask Anna: I found a dating app receipt in my girlfriend's email and I'm spiraling
Dear Anna,
I’m a 29-year-old guy and I’ve been with my girlfriend for about a year and a half. We’ve always had what I thought was a solid, committed relationship. We live separately but spend most nights together, talk about future plans, the whole thing. I trusted her completely. Last week, while she was showing me something on her ...Read more
Asking Eric: Goddaughter’s wedding dress causes huge family rift
Dear Eric: My goddaughter is getting married in December. Her parents have experienced crushing financial loss through no fault of their own. So, I told my goddaughter I would contribute $500 to the wedding dress.
She picked out a dress without consulting me that cost nearly 10 times that much and sent me a picture of the receipts. After much ...Read more
Friend Flip-Flops On Canceling Plans
DEAR HARRIETTE: My friend "Janice" is mad at me. We had plans to go to a food festival, and she canceled at the last minute. I had already bought both tickets, and since she said she couldn't make it, I didn't want the tickets to go to waste. I asked another friend if she wanted to go instead, and she happily agreed.
About an hour before the ...Read more
Family Loves Critiquing Bride's Choices
DEAR MISS MANNERS: My 30-year-old cousin is getting married, and my relatives believe she is doing everything wrong. In fact, a growing list of the bride-to-be's "inappropriate" wedding choices has become the family's favorite topic, especially among the 65+ ladies (all discussed behind my cousin's back, of course).
The specific crimes my ...Read more
Disinherited but Not Disheartened
Dear Annie: My parents, especially my mother, were abusive throughout my childhood physically, verbally and emotionally. I lived in fear from the time I was 5 years old. I worked hard, stayed out of trouble and built my own life without asking them for help, but my mother still treated me with cruelty and favoritism toward my younger sister.
...Read more
Message About New Husband Arrives Anonymously
DEAR ABBY: I've been married to my husband for two months. I haven't told anyone I'm married except my close friends and family. Someone recently messaged me about my husband, stating that he has Asperger's. They know my name and have my phone number. I don't know who this person is or why they would tell me this now.
I already suspected my ...Read more
Ask Dating Coach Erika: Should I pay for the dating apps?
Every day, I get the question, from both clients and friends, “Should I pay for the dating apps?” And when they are referring to the apps, they are referring to the ones like Hinge and Bumble where the basic services are free but there are in-app upgrades. (Sites like Match.com and eHarmony require payment in order to communicate with people...Read more
Asking Eric: Years after failed marriage, ex can’t stop thinking about it
Dear Eric: I had a starter marriage many years ago that only lasted a couple of years. We got married too young and I quickly realized that I had nothing in common with my wife. We divorced but she returned to me after a few months wanting to get back together. The problem is she admitted cheating on me with a married man.
We tried to make a go...Read more
Family Debates Whether Dad Treated Kids Differently
DEAR HARRIETTE: My younger brother and I grew up in the same house but had very different experiences with our father. As kids, I always felt like Dad was harder on me. He was quick to criticize and slow to show affection while my brother seemed to get the best part of him.
Now that we're adults, I thought we could finally talk about it, but ...Read more
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