Life Advice
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Millennial Life: Old School Could Be the Future
One coffee shop has become, through habit, an extension of my office. Today's meeting was with a field representative of a state congressional delegate. He wanted to share opportunities that might be available at a federal level. I spied a name written on the opposite side of the notebook where he was writing and told him I knew that person too,...Read more
Asking Eric: Grandson has no motivation; daughter enables him
Dear Eric: My 26-year-old grandson has never held a job. Three years ago, he earned a master’s degree. Despite his achievement, he engages in all-night computer gaming, sleeps during the day and lacks motivation to seek employment.
His father is out of the picture, and his mother, my daughter, maintains him in every way. She loves him and ...Read more
Friend Can't Stop Spilling Secrets
Dear Annie: I didn't think I'd be writing to an advice column at my age, but here I am, feeling like the new kid at the lunch table.
I recently joined a small community group to get out of the house more and meet people. That's where I met "Marla." She's warm, quick-witted and the kind of person who remembers details, like the name of my dog ...Read more
Book Club Crashers Have Hijacked Its Meetings
DEAR ABBY: My spouse and I host regular meetings of a book club. It has been very successful; lots of people attend. We serve wonderful food and wine. Two attendees rarely miss this event, although they have never actually been invited. They come by default with their spouses, whom we did invite many years ago.
We are not fond of these two ...Read more
Asking Eric: Informal music group marred by tone-deaf participant
Dear Eric: We play music with a group of friends on a regular basis. It is an informal, open group in a public space and generally everyone is welcome to join us and play along at whatever skill level they have.
However, there is one woman who comes along with her husband, who is a good player, but she has no skill at all, and her playing is ...Read more
Teen Daughter Ashamed Of Family Financial Status
DEAR HARRIETTE: My 16-year-old daughter is going through a rebellious phase. She has a lot of jealousy toward her friends because they come from wealthy families. My husband and I are middle class, but this is not good enough for my daughter. She often comes home from school and yells at me and my husband for not making enough money. She wants ...Read more
The System Works -- The System Called Reciprocity
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am 81, and IÕm not exactly sure when this problem began, but some people always seem to be looking for slights from others. I am sure they can always find something, but I believe it is the source of much unhappiness.
We invited people to dinner whose company we enjoyed. We sent wedding gifts, birthday gifts and Christmas ...Read more
Dating, Equality and Breaking Old Patterns
Dear Annie: For most of my life, I picked the wrong partners. Over time, I realized it wasn't bad luck. I was choosing what I had seen, not what I had actually done the work to earn. Those patterns came from my family and the system I grew up in, and I kept recreating them.
A few years ago, I left that behind and made a full 180. I simplified...Read more
Visiting Relatives Stayed High The Whole Time
DEAR ABBY: I just concluded a five-day visit hosting some young relatives. Both are adults in their early 30s. They have full-time jobs and make decent money, although they spend it as fast as they get it. My concern is their pot smoking.
Recreational marijuana is legal here as well as where they live. During their visit, they smoked joints ...Read more
Asking Eric: Differing religious traditions create confusion in friendship
Dear Eric: I'm an African American man in my late 60s. Nobody would call me the most religious guy on the planet, but the center aisle in the church would not open up and swallow me if I walked in.
I have a white friend, proud of his Jewish heritage, who I have known since we were kids. He spends as much time in the synagogue as I spend in the ...Read more
Sister's Struggles Affect Whole Family
DEAR HARRIETTE: Unfortunately, as the youngest child of two immigrants and the first person in my family to be born in America, family members have often ignored my struggles and put them off as "luxury problems." My sister has often been silenced as well, leading to her need to be seen. As time has passed, my sister has developed several ...Read more
This Is Why You Don't Post Everything Online
DEAR MISS MANNERS: IÕm hosting a party with my best friend. We used a social networking site as our form of invitations; itÕs a really informal event. My best friendÕs ex-girlfriend saw it and has invited herself to the party. She said, ÒI saw that you forgot to add me so I added myself.Ó
I donÕt want her at the party. There is a lot of ...Read more
A Family Wedding, Minus One
Dear Annie: Am I being too sensitive? My niece's son is getting married this year. I always believed I was close to her family, but when the "save the date" and shower invitations went out, my daughter was not included -- although all the other cousins were.
My daughter rarely attends family functions, so when one of my sisters asked why "...Read more
Girlfriend Hits The Road Amid Man's Rough Stretch
DEAR ABBY: I'm a senior male who has been married and divorced twice. For the last eight years, I have been in a relationship with an amazing woman. She has always had some control issues, but because of the love we share, I was able to look past them.
I've always been the one who paid for everything. I recently had some heart issues and was ...Read more
Asking Eric: Longtime friends leave couple out of annual vacation
Dear Eric: For the past several years, our family has celebrated the new year with another family at a very specific location on the Jersey Shore. It’s been a lovely yearly tradition.
This year, for whatever reason, we did not book the hotel. There was no mention of the trip all year, with us assuming it was not happening.
Then, a couple of ...Read more
Reader Shocked To Learn Of Mom's First Marriage
DEAR HARRIETTE: Last week, my mom told me that she was married and divorced before she met my dad. I am 35 years old, and she just shared this with me now. I was surprised because she has never mentioned this before. I had no idea there had been another marriage, and it feels weird that something so big was hidden from me for my whole life. She ...Read more
Rule-Following Guest Ends Up Feeling Rude
DEAR MISS MANNERS: After asking my dinner guests not to bring any dishes, some still do. My question is what do do when Person A shows up with a dish, and Person B -- lovely, lovely Person B, who was polite and kind enough to take me at my word -- sees the exchange.
Person B invariably gets embarrassed and asks if they should have brought ...Read more
Living Under the Threat of Divorce
Dear Annie: I am a 69-year-old man who is still totally and madly in love with my wife of 49 years. I know many people would say I'm foolish for feeling this way after she cheated on me several times during the early years of our marriage. At the time, I blamed myself. We were young, I felt responsible for providing for our growing family, and...Read more
Family's Black Sheep Could Use A Little Help Now And Then
DEAR ABBY: I was always the wild child and did pretty much what I wanted. My four siblings stuck to the straight and narrow. We stayed close and loving, though. We are old now, and they all lead very comfortable lives. I, however, became injured and gravely ill. I could no longer work and now live on supplemental security income and food stamps....Read more
Ask Anna: My boyfriend keeps prioritizing other women -- what do I do?
Dear Anna,
I’m 32 and my boyfriend of three years constantly prioritizes other women over me in small but consistent ways, and it’s driving me crazy. He’s a generally nice guy — the kind who prides himself on being helpful and chivalrous — but somehow I’m never the one receiving that treatment. A few recent examples: We were at the ...Read more
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