Life Advice
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Praying for Peace
Dear Annie: I am 40 years old, and my husband is 44. When we first got together, he treated me well, but things changed. Now, whenever I visit him, he drinks heavily and becomes violent. He has beaten me more than once, and I am ashamed to say it has happened many times.
He has also cheated on me. He has four children, and despite everything,...Read more
Husband Has Shown His Priorities Aren't At Home
DEAR ABBY: My husband works out of state for an oil rigging company 20 days out of the month. He gets 10 days off. When he comes home, we may have two days of quality time together. The rest of his time he spends on his phone outside.
When I recently had spinal surgery, he came home supposedly to assist me. My doctor gave him instructions to ...Read more

Asking Eric: Friend fears being losing wedding invitation over politics
Dear Eric: I have a good friend with whom I get together maybe twice a month or so. We disagree politically, sometimes passionately, but always end our conversation by telling each other that we are still friends and still love and respect each other.
A few months ago, her daughter got engaged, and when my friend shared this news, she said that...Read more
Nephew Feels Obligated To Help Dying Aunt
DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a family member who is dying. She is a grumpy woman, and everybody in my family is tired of dealing with her. Same goes for the people in the assisted living facility where she lives. They tolerate her, but they don't do anything extra because she complains constantly. She has always been grumpy, talking down to people and...Read more
Musicians' Formal Clothes Not Formal Enough
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have had season tickets to the orchestra for a couple of decades. For evening concerts, the orchestra wears white tie, and women soloists wear evening dress. For afternoon concerts, the soloists still wear evening dress, and the men in the orchestra wear black suits, black shirts and black ties.
The musicians who are women,...Read more
Furniture, Family and Boundaries
Dear Annie: My husband and I recently agreed to sell our old lounge furniture, since we're in the process of buying a new set. We made the decision together, so I assumed we'd also agree on who it would be sold to.
He later called to say he found a buyer, which I was happy to hear -- until he added a twist. The buyer would be paying in ...Read more
Mother-In-Law Dismisses A Request Not To Be Touched
DEAR ABBY: I was sexually abused as a child. Because of this, as an adult woman, I have issues around being touched. I have had therapy, and I am doing much better, but I'm still uncomfortable with physical contact. I simply request that people ask me before they touch me, and I usually agree.
The issue is my mother-in-law. She refuses to ask ...Read more
Millennial Life: You Cannot Be All Things to People (And That's Okay)
There's a quote that's been following me around lately, showing up in podcasts, books, and the back of my own mind: "You can do anything, but not everything." Supposedly, that's from author David Allen, but it feels like the whispered wisdom of every millennial who's run headlong into the wall of their own limits.
I bounced off that wall again ...Read more

Asking Eric: Parent feels loss when college-aged kids stay away all summer
Dear Eric: Summer months are upon us and most students will soon be heading home from college for their vacations, except mine. Every summer since starting college they have worked a summer job that required them to live on-site, a couple hours’ drive away from home.
This year, because that seasonal position was eliminated, they have found a ...Read more
A Father's Day Reflection
Dear Readers: Today is Father's Day, a day that means something different to each of us. For some, it is a time to fire up the grill, hand Dad a new set of tools and enjoy the kind of quiet, comfortable time that fathers often prefer. For others, it is a bittersweet day, filled with memories, longing or unresolved emotions. Wherever you find ...Read more
Recipient Responds To Gift With A Sharp Tongue
DEAR ABBY: My husband and I recently moved out of state. His only living relative, a sister, recently came to visit. She has never been married. She is a retired professional and has a good retirement, especially since she has no children.
During her visit, she gave us a housewarming greeting card with a $50 Visa gift card. This was unusual as ...Read more

Asking Eric: Grieving a lost pet, letter writer fears being unfair to new pet
Dear Eric: I am in my 70s so I should know better. Almost two years ago I had to put my 13-year-old Yorkshire Terrier named Shorty to sleep. This broke my heart.
Within a couple of months, I decided to get another dog, this time a Gold Dust Yorkie named Buddy. I realize now this was such a big mistake. I should not have done this so quickly.
...Read more
Younger Partner Feels Rushed In Relationship
DEAR HARRIETTE: My partner and I have been together for a while now, and I truly care about him. He's kind and stable, and we have a strong connection. The only issue is that we're at different stages in our lives. He's five years older than me and is ready to settle down. He talks about marriage, buying a home and planning for the future in ...Read more
E-Cards Still Can't Replace Handwritten
DEAR MISS MANNERS: After several decades of typing on keyboards, I have lost my ability to write nicely by hand. My solution is to send electronic notes -- for expressing appreciation, recognizing significant events, etc.
There are several lovely e-card forms available. Using them results in more timely responses, as well as significant savings...Read more
Retroactively Regretting a Raving Good Time
Dear Annie: Last year, I married the nicest guy I've ever met. I'm 40 and wish I'd met him sooner, but better late than never. On our month-long honeymoon in Europe, we attended a music festival. During the festival, my husband and I saw some other women in pasties, and in a moment of flirting, I did something totally out of character and ...Read more
Selfish Grandmother Has Consistently Shown Her True Colors
DEAR ABBY: I am a mother of six and a grandma to four. We are a close family and enjoy each other's company. My mom is nearly 80. For reasons I could never understand, she didn't enjoy my children when they were growing up and didn't connect deeply with them. She once commented to me that she was bored with women her age because they were "...Read more

Asking Eric: Adult children’s fight sours every family gathering
Dear Eric: I have three adult children. About three years ago there was an issue, and my oldest, Doug, and middle, Linda, disrespected each other. It wasn't a small issue, but (in my and my wife's opinion) it wasn't a huge offense.
Neither will apologize. They refuse to speak to each other.
We have tried many ways to try and bridge the gap, to...Read more
Dog Bite Interferes In Cousin's Relationship
DEAR HARRIETTE: Over Memorial Day weekend, I hosted a small get-together at my home with my extended family. My cousin brought her 1-year-old son, who's just starting to walk and explore the world around him. He's a sweet little boy and was especially fascinated by my dog. The problem is that my dog has never been great around small children. He...Read more
Let's Lose The Cancer 'battle' Lingo
DEAR MISS MANNERS: Three years ago, I was diagnosed with cancer. I was extremely fortunate: My tumor was removed and I did not require radiation or chemo. I have my screenings yearly and all has been well.
Am I a "cancer survivor"? I never want to take anything away from someone who had a much more difficult battle than I did. I don't want to ...Read more
Tired of Playing by Grandma's Rules
Dear Annie: My husband and I have two kids under 5, and we both work full-time. As you can imagine, our lives are pretty hectic. My mother-in-law lives about 30 minutes away and expects us to visit her almost every weekend. If we don't, she lays on the guilt pretty thick -- talking about how she "never sees the kids" or implying we don't value...Read more
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