ArcaMax

DEAR HARRIETTE: My cousin decided to plan a family reunion this year. We have a large family spread throughout a few states and a few countries. My cousin refused to allow anyone else in the family to help her plan this grandiose reunion, despite several people asking. It was a huge undertaking, and in the end, there were a lot of missteps. Many...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: At a dinner party, my companion quietly excused herself after the meal to smoke a cigarette. She went outside, over our nonsmoking hostess's protestations that inside was fine.

As I escorted my friend outside, I heard a fellow guest, the wife of a mutual acquaintance, shriek, "What? She SMOKES?" in a tone that would have been...Read more

Dear Annie: My fiance, "Mark," and I have been together for four years and are set to get married next spring. We live together in a small house we bought last fall. For the most part, things are good. But lately, something's been bothering me.

Mark has a weekly "guys' night" every Thursday with his two best friends from college. It used to ...Read more

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I had two sons, "Seth" and "Jason," who were best buddies. Seth passed away a year and a half ago, which has been really hard on us all, but especially on Jason. He's now 17 and in high school. He's doing OK, but he is still sort of listless and keeps to himself a lot.

My sister's son, "Matt," was the same age as Seth....Read more

As long as we're on the subject of partnership in love -- aren't we always? -- and the difference it can make, this might just be the right time to look at what it is that's prodding you toward commitment. The most common reason, of course, is to banish loneliness forever. Many of us enter (and stay in) a relationship primarily to avoid being ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: I've been working in tech for the past five years, and I've saved up a decent amount of money with the intention of taking a year off to travel. It's something I've dreamed about for a long time. I want to see the world, experience different cultures and give myself space to reflect on what I really want in life. Lately, though, ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: We attended a charity event for a homeless shelter -- an event we have gone to for several years. This time, there was a guest speaker who was a former client of the shelter.

This gentleman had gone there when he was homeless and fresh out of jail. He spoke for 45 minutes, which I thought was way too long, and he included ...Read more

Dear Annie: My father has always been a deeply anxious man. If there is nothing to worry about, he invents something. Growing up, this often meant high-stress evenings when my siblings or I were out with friends or running late. I still remember one night when my dad woke my mother in a panic, convinced my brother had been in an accident. She ...Read more

DEAR ABBY: My sister-in-law is her alcoholic husband's enabler. He has health conditions that make walking difficult. He falls down often and can't make it to the bathroom. Being drunk all the time (he consumes a fifth of vodka every two days) also prevents him from getting the surgery he needs.

My SIL buys his liquor for him. She says if she ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: I work remotely, and while I've enjoyed the flexibility and freedom it provides, I've started to feel increasingly isolated and unmotivated. At first, it felt like a dream: no commute, more control over my schedule and the comfort of home. Lately, I've noticed that I'm missing the daily interactions, spontaneous conversations and...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am planning to invite my daughter's in-laws to a formal dinner. I plan to host it the way my late almost-aristocratic mother would have done 60 years ago: with fine china, starched linens, good silver, flowers, the lot. I am partly (well, mainly) motivated by a few snobbish remarks dropped by my daughter's father-in-law.

...Read more

Dear Annie: I've always prided myself on being a good friend. I'm the one who shows up at weddings, baby showers, birthday parties and even moving day. I donate to friends' fundraisers, send thoughtful messages, and make the effort to call, check in and extend invitations. In short, I've always been there when it mattered.

But three months ...Read more

DEAR ABBY: I am 65, single and retired with an almost-40-year-old bipolar child. Although she's compliant with her meds, she also self-medicates and sometimes must be hospitalized due to her mania. She doesn't work and refuses to apply for any aid. I have stopped paying for her needs other than food, shelter and helping financially with her dog....Read more

Dear Annie: Last October, my son and I bought a home with a pool. My fiance's son, who had not visited his father in years, offered to drive the moving truck. My fiance could not lift much due to a shoulder injury, but his son helped unload a few items. After the move, they visited once, and I welcomed them with food and hospitality. That was ...Read more

I used to believe in quiet resistance. You choose the right moments to slip wrenches into the gears without drawing the guard's attention. Movies love a covert operator like the whistleblower or the silent saboteur who knows that noise gets you caught. But we're not in the movies.

Lately, the vibes, as the kids would say, feel different. There'...Read more