Life Advice
/Health
/ArcaMax
Boundaries Are Not Selfish
Dear Annie: I am a 57-year-old woman who has had many problems with my sister over the years. When my mother was alive, I would call to talk with her, but my sister often answered the phone. If she did not like the way I spoke or the tone of my voice, she would simply hang up on me.
On the day we buried my father, her children tried to pick a...Read more

Asking Eric: Wife’s secret expenses strain marriage
Dear Eric: I have been married to a wonderful woman for more than 50 years. About five years ago, I discovered that she spends more than $4,000 a year on vitamins and supplements. She hid these purchases from me by putting a small amount of the bill on a credit card and paying the rest in cash.
She buys them from her chiropractor who has ...Read more
Held Hostage by Fear
Dear Annie: I suffer from severe anxiety over everything. I am and have been on medication for some time and I do see a therapist, but nothing seems to help. I have my share of issues, but my mind always jumps to the worst possible outcomes.
In December, I had a hemorrhage. The doctors gave me pain medicine and told me it was colitis after a ...Read more

Asking Eric: Girlfriend accuses boyfriend of cheating with church friend
Dear Eric: I’m a 61-year-old single man. I’m disabled and, until their passing, lived with my parents. About 25 years ago, my parents and I became friendly with a woman – I’ll call her “M” – and her husband, “P” through activities at our church.
After my father passed away, M invited me to lunch. She knew I was alone and ...Read more
When Ambition and Emotions Clash
Dear Annie: I've been dating a man, "Daniel," for about a year. He's kind, reliable and has a great relationship with his family. I care about him a lot, but there's something that keeps nagging at me. He's never been very ambitious. He works a steady job, pays his bills, but doesn't seem interested in growing professionally. He often says he'...Read more

Asking Eric: Longtime boyfriend has dream wedding plan but won’t propose
Dear Eric: My good friend has been with her boyfriend for more than 20 years. She finally moved into his house after her mom died a year and a half ago. They attend each other’s family events – weddings, funerals, birthdays, sports events, work parties – and he tells her he loves her.
He’s had every detail of his future wedding...Read more
When Relationships Shift
Dear Annie: My sister "Claire" and I have always been close, but things have shifted since she had her first baby eight months ago. I understand that motherhood changes things, but lately I feel like I've been pushed to the sidelines. Every conversation revolves around the baby, and when I try to bring up anything going on in my life, she ...Read more

Ask Anna: Should I stay married to someone who doesn't desire me?
Dear Anna,
I'm a 39-year-old man, married to my 36-year-old wife for 11 years. Last month I discovered she'd been having an emotional affair with a coworker that lasted about three months. When confronted, she admitted she hasn't felt attracted to me for over a year and that she's never really felt that "spark" with me, even though we've always...Read more
Single File: Workaholism -- Part 1
When career becomes life and there are virtually no boundaries between them, work stops being the connection it can -- and should -- be. When does that happen? Well, for one thing, when there is nothing it can connect you to. Think about that, please. In the same way an alcoholic hides behind a bottle, you could be using your job to protect ...Read more

Ask Dating Coach Erika: 'How do I ask ____?'
So many questions I get, as a dating coach, follow the format of, “How do I ask ____?” That blank might be “for more time together,” “for a date this Friday,” “for a few texts between dates,” “what they’re looking for in the future.” And in all of these cases, I would simple cross off the “how do I ask,” and you’re ...Read more

Asking Eric: Longtime friend always has to have upper hand in conversation
Dear Eric: I recently had lunch with an old friend. We have known each other for more than 50 years and get together three or four times a year to catch up. On my way home, I realized that every time I talked about something, either my family or something I had done, my friend couldn't wait to "best" me with her story. She didn't ask one ...Read more
Letting Go to Protect Myself
Dear Worn Out: My three brothers and I are all senior citizens, and throughout our lives we have endured a very difficult relationship with our mother. From the time we were children, she was physically and emotionally abusive. She controlled us, manipulated us, lied to us and often gaslighted us.
Now that we are adults with families of our ...Read more

Asking Eric: New husband wants to go on vacation without his wife
Dear Eric: I’m a newly married 69-year-old woman who was previously a widow after 43 years of marriage. My present husband and I have been married for a little over a year. We dated in high school and coincidentally ended up together.
Prior to getting married, my husband didn’t ever mention he wanted to go on an African Safari with his ...Read more
Protecting My Husband From Exclusion
Dear Annie: When my husband and I first got married, he made it clear that his mother would always be welcome to visit whenever she wanted since she lives far away. Over the years, she has come three or four times annually, often staying for a week at a time. She is generally helpful around the house, and we sometimes spend holidays with her, ...Read more

Asking Eric: Neighborhood gardener doesn’t want to chat about garden
Dear Eric: First, let me admit I am not very social. I genuinely do not like to stand around chit-chatting, especially when I’m in the process of working on something.
I moved into a new neighborhood two years ago. I have spent that time working on re-doing the landscaping, both front and back yards – new flower beds, took out the lawns, ...Read more
Private Family Time Isn't Selfish
Dear Annie: My husband works in the family business alongside his father, his brother-in-law, and sometimes his brother and cousin. He is a generous, hardworking man who would give the shirt off his back for his family. Unfortunately, they seem to take advantage of that generosity.
Despite the pressures of the business, we make it a priority ...Read more
Millennial Life: When Empathy Feels Impossible
There is always a moment after tragedy when the public is told to summon empathy, usually for the person who caused the tragedy. But this week the ask for empathy was for someone who many felt didn't deserve it and who wouldn't have offered in return. Many people bristled, asking why they should care about someone who actively promoted damage in...Read more

Asking Eric: Widowed mother-in-law wants to bring new beau for holidays
Dear Eric: My mother-in-law, Dana, 79, was married for 51 years before her husband passed six years ago.
She still visits us frequently. When she does, she stays at either our house or one of my husband’s sister's homes.
Within the last six months, my MIL began dating another senior gentleman, Peter. Apparently, Dana and Peter knew each ...Read more
10 Years Later, the Hurt Remains
Dear Annie: I have been part of the same group of friends for more than 30 years. About a decade ago, when I got married, I asked one of them, someone I considered like a sister, to be my maid of honor. She and I had always been close. She was there when my daughter was born, we grew up side by side, and I thought of her as one of my very best...Read more

Asking Eric: Friend’s complex needs strain friendship
Dear Eric: "Bella" and I met more than 35 years ago as volunteers. We maintained a friendship despite totally different life paths: she had a string of relationships that never went very far; I married, became a stepmom, then had a baby.
She wasn't able to maintain a career due to increasing mental health issues that also affected her physical ...Read more