Life Advice
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Asking Eric: Care or burial plots falls to one family member
Dear Eric: As kids we went to the cemeteries with our parents and grandparents every year before Memorial Day. There are three cemeteries with family members, and I remember all of us working on each plot every year – planting flowers, digging, weeding then going out for lunch. All this takes preparation then daily/weekly care.
Now our ...Read more
Is It Too Late for My Happiness?
Dear Annie: After 45 years of marriage to a man who has no hobbies, no real friends of his own and little interest in life outside of his routine, I'm struggling with a mix of guilt, resentment and sadness.
For decades, I lived under his controlling ways -- so much so that when I finally started doing things for myself, I felt guilty for not ...Read more

Asking Eric: Five close siblings cut sixth out of fun plans
Dear Eric: I am a woman in my 60s with six siblings. Our parents are in their early 90s and have raised us to be thoughtful and respectful. Many of my siblings are female and have always gotten along famously, traveling together on girls’ trips and seeing each other for holidays and family celebrations.
In the past few years, it seems I’ve ...Read more
Praying for Peace
Dear Annie: I am 40 years old, and my husband is 44. When we first got together, he treated me well, but things changed. Now, whenever I visit him, he drinks heavily and becomes violent. He has beaten me more than once, and I am ashamed to say it has happened many times.
He has also cheated on me. He has four children, and despite everything,...Read more

Asking Eric: Friend fears being losing wedding invitation over politics
Dear Eric: I have a good friend with whom I get together maybe twice a month or so. We disagree politically, sometimes passionately, but always end our conversation by telling each other that we are still friends and still love and respect each other.
A few months ago, her daughter got engaged, and when my friend shared this news, she said that...Read more
Furniture, Family and Boundaries
Dear Annie: My husband and I recently agreed to sell our old lounge furniture, since we're in the process of buying a new set. We made the decision together, so I assumed we'd also agree on who it would be sold to.
He later called to say he found a buyer, which I was happy to hear -- until he added a twist. The buyer would be paying in ...Read more
Millennial Life: You Cannot Be All Things to People (And That's Okay)
There's a quote that's been following me around lately, showing up in podcasts, books, and the back of my own mind: "You can do anything, but not everything." Supposedly, that's from author David Allen, but it feels like the whispered wisdom of every millennial who's run headlong into the wall of their own limits.
I bounced off that wall again ...Read more

Asking Eric: Parent feels loss when college-aged kids stay away all summer
Dear Eric: Summer months are upon us and most students will soon be heading home from college for their vacations, except mine. Every summer since starting college they have worked a summer job that required them to live on-site, a couple hours’ drive away from home.
This year, because that seasonal position was eliminated, they have found a ...Read more
A Father's Day Reflection
Dear Readers: Today is Father's Day, a day that means something different to each of us. For some, it is a time to fire up the grill, hand Dad a new set of tools and enjoy the kind of quiet, comfortable time that fathers often prefer. For others, it is a bittersweet day, filled with memories, longing or unresolved emotions. Wherever you find ...Read more

Asking Eric: Grieving a lost pet, letter writer fears being unfair to new pet
Dear Eric: I am in my 70s so I should know better. Almost two years ago I had to put my 13-year-old Yorkshire Terrier named Shorty to sleep. This broke my heart.
Within a couple of months, I decided to get another dog, this time a Gold Dust Yorkie named Buddy. I realize now this was such a big mistake. I should not have done this so quickly.
...Read more
Retroactively Regretting a Raving Good Time
Dear Annie: Last year, I married the nicest guy I've ever met. I'm 40 and wish I'd met him sooner, but better late than never. On our month-long honeymoon in Europe, we attended a music festival. During the festival, my husband and I saw some other women in pasties, and in a moment of flirting, I did something totally out of character and ...Read more

Asking Eric: Adult children’s fight sours every family gathering
Dear Eric: I have three adult children. About three years ago there was an issue, and my oldest, Doug, and middle, Linda, disrespected each other. It wasn't a small issue, but (in my and my wife's opinion) it wasn't a huge offense.
Neither will apologize. They refuse to speak to each other.
We have tried many ways to try and bridge the gap, to...Read more
Tired of Playing by Grandma's Rules
Dear Annie: My husband and I have two kids under 5, and we both work full-time. As you can imagine, our lives are pretty hectic. My mother-in-law lives about 30 minutes away and expects us to visit her almost every weekend. If we don't, she lays on the guilt pretty thick -- talking about how she "never sees the kids" or implying we don't value...Read more

Ask Anna: Feeling behind in gay dating? How to date confidently as a newly out adult
Dear Anna,
I'm 34 and just came out to myself (and a few close friends) as gay after years of thinking I was just "bad at dating men" or "too picky." Looking back, all the signs were there, but I genuinely thought my lack of attraction to boyfriends was normal and that romantic love was just something that happened in movies. I've spent the ...Read more

Asking Eric: Hoarder’s friend wants to help but doesn’t want to risk causing shame
Dear Eric: I have a friend of several decades and recently learned she is a hoarder. We always met outside our homes for coffee or lunch. I just assumed it was more convenient.
A few months ago, she texted to tell me she's been embarrassed for me to find out her "secret". She also asked me for help. I was thrilled and offered to help, but she ...Read more
Showing Up After Silence
Dear Annie: A couple I've been friends with for over 20 years is about to celebrate their daughter's high school graduation. I recently received an invitation from the daughter, and while I was touched to be included, I'm feeling a little conflicted.
Over the past few years, the parents -- who were once very close to me -- have gradually ...Read more
Single File: Mystery
I love mystery. No, not the murder-mayhem crime scene. The mystery that moves me (and maybe you after you consider my words) is the aura, the enchantment and the spell we can weave around ourselves. But before we get to that, know that my kind of mystery has nothing to do with game playing or trickery in relationships; in my value system, they'...Read more

Ask Dating Coach Erika: 'Why did he tell me that on our first date??'
I got a question recently from a woman asking me whether she should be concerned that the man she just went out with (he’s 57; she’s 51) had previously been in a relationship with a 23-year-old. My response, based on no additional information about either of them, was: It’s unclear.
To be honest, it was less the age gap that raised a red ...Read more

Asking Eric: ‘Goody-two-shoes’ sister rejected by drug-addicted sibling
Dear Eric: My sister suffers from alcoholism and drug addiction from way back. I am the exact opposite of her in almost every way – rarely drink, never do drugs. She perceives me to be a “goody-two-shoes,” and I was given a nickname of “miss maturity” by her and other siblings. It was not a positive nickname.
She is my only sister. I ...Read more
Learning to Love From Afar
Dear Annie: I'm 63 years old, and I live alone in a quiet little house with my dog, Rosie. I like to sit on the porch in the evenings and watch the sun go down, but lately the silence feels heavier than it used to.
My daughter, who is in her 30s, moved to Texas with her husband about a year ago -- and since then, she hasn't spoken to me. Not ...Read more
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