Big Move Puts Strain On Relationship
DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband and I recently moved from Seattle to Dallas to be closer to his family. It has been nice because they have helped out a lot with our two younger daughters, but I am not happy here. I am far from my family, and I had to take a salary cut to move to Dallas. When we made the decision to move, it felt practical. Child care costs in Seattle were high, and having his parents nearby seemed like it would ease a lot of the daily pressure. They've been wonderful with our girls. They pick them up from school, babysit when needed and are involved grandparents.
On paper, our move makes sense, but emotionally, I feel like I gave up more than I anticipated. I left behind a job I loved, colleagues who felt like close friends and a city that felt like home. The salary cut has also affected me more than I expected. Even though we're saving on child care, I feel like I took a professional step backward. My current role doesn't challenge me the same way, and I worry that this move may have long-term effects on my career trajectory. Beyond work, I feel isolated. I don't get to visit my own parents and siblings, and while we FaceTime often, it's not the same as when they lived about three hours from us before. I don't want to seem ungrateful, but I miss Seattle. How should I address this with my husband? -- Disconnected
DEAR DISCONNECTED: Sit down with your husband and reveal all that you are feeling. Express your gratitude for the support his family is offering alongside the angst you are feeling about how your life has changed. Tell him how cut off you feel from your family and your career plans. Talk about the next five to 10 years and the options that are before you.
Just because you live in Dallas now does not mean it has to be forever. Many families move after the children reach a certain age or other milestones are met. What's important is that you talk it out and come up with a plan that respects your whole family's needs -- including yours. You may also want to take a trip to visit your family and then map out a plan that includes at least an annual trip home.
DEAR HARRIETTE: I can't stop spending money. I'm a college student and have no bills, dependents or real-world responsibilities besides school, interning and my on-campus activities. This past week alone, I bought clothes, jewelry, makeup, concert tickets and plane tickets on top of going to lunches, dinners and coffee every morning. I feel like every time I try to limit my spending and save money, I fail. Even when I don't buy something I want, I end up having to pay for something I need for class or to visit my family for breaks. Growing up, I was never taught how to handle money or be fiscally responsible. Do you have any advice? I want to make sure I can learn how to handle money and not spend it while I don't have enough to really hurt myself financially. -- Shopping Spree
DEAR SHOPPING SPREE: Find out if your school offers any money management classes. If so, sign up! Meanwhile, open a savings account and transfer something into it every time you receive money so that saving becomes a habit.
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(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions toaskharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)
Copyright 2026, Harriette Cole
COPYRIGHT 2026 Andrews McMeel Syndication. This feature may not be reproduced or distributed electronically, in print or otherwise without the written permission of Andrews McMeel Syndication.
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