Divorced Woman Feels Invisible
DEAR HARRIETTE: As I get older, I feel like I am becoming invisible to all men. I don't want to sound as if I'm a "pick-me girl," as my daughters say, but it's been difficult. I have been divorced for two years, and I'm trying to put myself out there, but it seems like men are only interested in younger women, not 50-year-old divorcees with kids.
When I was married, I never thought much about aging in this way. I felt secure and chosen. Now that I'm dating again, I feel like I've been dropped into a completely different world. On dating apps, I barely get messages. When I do meet someone in person, I often notice their attention drifting toward younger women in the room. It's hard not to take that personally. I've worked hard to take care of myself. I stay active, I dress well and I believe I have a lot to offer: life experience, emotional maturity, stability and independence. Still, I can't shake the feeling that I'm competing in a market that doesn't value those qualities as much as youth. It's humbling in a way I wasn't prepared for.
I don't want to grow bitter or insecure, but I'd be lying if I said this hasn't affected my confidence. How do I date at this stage of life without feeling invisible? -- Old Maid
DEAR OLD MAID: It is true that many people on the dating scene are looking for younger partners. The good news is that it doesn't apply to everyone. Check out dating sites for mature singles. I have a friend who found her life partner through OurTime.com, which caters to people 50 years and older. While there's no guarantee that you will find someone that way, it is possible. Also, as is true for all people who want to find a partner, you have to put yourself out there. Keep going to events and being in the mix. While some may look past you, others may see you. That's who you want to meet. Good luck!
DEAR HARRIETTE: Before college, two of my friends and I were so close, always together and doing things as a trio. Since I moved away for college, one of them has been extremely distant, not picking up the phone or responding to texts. I still talk to the other one all the time; she's even come to visit me twice since college started. When I'm back home, we still hang out as a trio, but it's not the same. The energy is off, and at times can feel awkward. We used to talk about nonsense for hours, but now the thought of stringing together a sentence is dreadful. Do you have any advice for me on how to navigate this rift in our friendship? Before college, I thought we would be a trio for life, but it appears that I am way closer to one than the other, and I don't know why. -- Navigating Friendship
DEAR NAVIGATING FRIENDSHIP: Not every old friend remains a friend for life. Don't lament what you can't change. Stay cordial with the more distant person as you strengthen your bond with the one who wants to be close, and continue to live your life meeting new potential friends along the way.
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(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)
Copyright 2026, Harriette Cole
COPYRIGHT 2026 Andrews McMeel Syndication. This feature may not be reproduced or distributed electronically, in print or otherwise without the written permission of Andrews McMeel Syndication.
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