Bad Habit Leads To Embarrassing Outcome
DEAR HARRIETTE: When I was younger, I developed a strange habit of picking at the back of my hair. I did it so much that my hair thinned almost completely on the back of my head. I ended up getting a pixie cut to mask the hair loss. The beauty hack worked perfectly -- for a while, anyway.
As an adult, my bad habit has returned, but now I tend to pick at the middle of my head, and now, I realize that it happens mostly when I am stressed or under a lot of pressure. With much less hair to hide my insecurity, there is a growing, exposed bald spot in the middle of my head! I feel so self-conscious. My new solution has been wearing hats. Do you have any better ideas? How do I break this habit? I want to stop picking at my own hair so that I don't have to keep altering my style to hide my hair loss. -- Bald Spot
DEAR BALD SPOT: You have to train yourself out of this bad habit (which is called trichotillomania). Some people use small toys to occupy their hands when they are unconsciously doing repetitive behaviors. You can use a rubber ball or stress ball that you roll around in your hand or other such item that captures your attention. Fidget toys have been proven to be helpful for people who have adopted unhealthy habits. These toys are available at toy stores and Amazon, as well as any department store that carries toys.
You may want to talk to a therapist about your habit and work together to develop some coping strategies to address any deeper issues you may be facing.
DEAR HARRIETTE: I'm a man, but my birth name can be described as gender neutral or unisex. Unfortunately, though, whenever I'd show up for interviews or meet people via email or text, they'd assume I was a woman based on my name. I got tired of it, so I legally changed my name to something more traditionally masculine. My new name is what I would prefer to be called, but not everyone I knew before the name change has made that transition with me. I'm not sure if it's because they don't like the decision I made or if it's just due to habit. Either way, I would like people to be more mindful of my new name and preference. How can I get them to respect my new name without always finding myself feeling frustrated? -- New Name
DEAR NEW NAME: Stop obsessing over what your friends call you. They already know you and accept you for who you are. Often when people change their names, the new name marks the next chapter in their lives, and new people come to be part of that. Your old name can become sacred to your old friends and family, but more, it's a lifelong habit that can be hard to break. Don't begrudge them as you set your course for what's to come. I know lots of people who have changed their names but still answer to their former name when they are around old friends. It can become endearing over time.
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(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions toaskharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)
Copyright 2026, Harriette Cole
COPYRIGHT 2026 Andrews McMeel Syndication. This feature may not be reproduced or distributed electronically, in print or otherwise without the written permission of Andrews McMeel Syndication.
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